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Another question regarding my first one about my sexuality.
Hi,
I really appreciated your last answer, but I wondered, what would you define as the difference between sexual confusion and the inability to find a sexual identity? And why do you think that I am the latter?
I just feel like I need that explaining more.
Also, I'd like to mention that although yes, I am naturally a shy and introverted person, I am actually very comfortable around the opposite sex, much moreso than my own. From a young age I've always had more close male friends than female. I actually feel very uncomfortable amongst members of my own sex (I think I'm yet to find anyone of my own sex who I'm completely comfortable around) whereas I am far more comfortable around members of the opposite. I don't know whether that's important but I thought I would mention it.
It could be something more deep-seated, I'm not sure. I know I've always thought about sex (and it appealed to me) from a very young age, for as long as I can remember, whereas other kids didn't seem to view it in the same way as I did. Yet when it got to the age where other people were expermienting, I always lagged behind and I've always felt very odd about it and uncomfortable during those experiences. Other people my age seem very comfortable about it, whereas for me it's almost a...fear, in a way. I don't know, it's weird. Sorry if this is too much information or going off track.
Thank you, x
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Hi,
How I answer a question has a lot to do with what you write and how you write it. After reading several thousand questions and answering hundreds of then you gain some insight into the writer through their writing. I was able to do so with you because of how far back you went with the information you supplied.
I may have gotten a little bit wrong but the fact remains that he feeling I get is one of sexual confusion not sexual identity problems.
To some extent sexual confusion is: are you and your body properly matched. Now this does not always mean that you are a boy in a girls body. It gets kind of complicated from here and has a lot to do with how you identified yourself as a child. That is why I suggested a sex therapist to help you sort out the confusion.
What put me on to this is the early age you started to have sexual thoughts about yourself. Again not really a problem from my point of view but I am not a properly trained person either. So again the recommendation to seek out a properly trained therapist.
The rest of what I felt is somewhat confirmed by what you have written here.
I really don't feel you have anything to worry about. I feel you are an above average teenager that as I said may be more sexually confused than the average teenager.
You could if you want seek out a therapist at this time. By law you have medical confidentiality. Meaning your parents do not have to know why your seeing a therapist and the therapist does not and cannot reveal anything you tell them in therapy.
If you would like to speak to a therapist now I will make this suggestion. Try speaking with your mom first, someplace away from the house and siblings if you have any. A trip to the mall or the park comes to mind; anyplace where you and she can be alone for awhile while where you can have a conversation.
Having this type of conversation with your mother should not be embarrassing, heck you having it with a total stranger. Parents are not the enemy and we were once teenagers ourselves and have gone through situations very similar if not the same as you are going through. Even if mom does not fully understand what you may be going through, I believe she will want to help you.
As I said my views on sex are very liberal. I believe people are what they are and no one should judge them. There is a term called pansexual which loosely means a person is accepting of persons of all sexual orientations including transgender and trans-sexual. My liberal views put me very close to that definition.
You know better than I do what your parent views on sex are so you need to guide your discussion in that direction to start with, should you decide to talk with you mother on this subject. I hope that you would as I think it will help you.
You may contact me anytime in this manner if you feel I can be of any help to you.
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