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Why do I care so much still?
Even though me and my ex-boyfriend have stopped talking ever since our breakup in March, and I'm dating someone else, I still have this weird energy when I am around him.
He broke up with me because I was depressing him, but he promised me he would still be my friend and be there for me. It was a really rather caring breakup. For a while, we were friends, laughing and joking and being just like we were. I felt very happy at first, but then, it just turned so sour. My feelings for him began to develop again. I warned him about it, too. But he insisted we be friends. I stayed his friend, and tried to be short and curt with texts and phone calls, so my emotional attachment would fade. And yes, eventually it did, but not without a few problems. He used to complain I was stubborn and too sensitive. We got in a few squirmishes about it, and since I am negative by nature, and I get depressed easily, he couldn't take it anymore. He was angry with me and told me to stay out of his life because I am a roller coaster.
Still, I try to contain my emotional self. He said he'd always be there for me. He said he'd help me work through my issues even after we broke up. But things aren't that simple. We barely ever talk anymore. The emotional attachment I had for him is gone, but I always feel so weird when we are around each other. He always stares at me but never makes any attempts to talk. I just want to say something. I don't want our relationship to be like this, silence and all. I really would enjoy being his friend, but he just doesn't want to take the time to deal with me. It's really upsetting. And I know I shouldn't care.
He put me through too much. He played games. He was selfish. He left me waiting for a decision if he wanted to get back with me or not for a week, and when he dumped me I was destroyed. A few days later he asked if he wanted to get back with me, but I told him to wait, and he said no. He refused to wait for me whatsoever, and then I knew that was it. I knew that he wasn't worth it. So I gave up. And now, I'm kinda happy we don't talk, but there's this awkwardness everytime I'm around him. We have classes together.
I hate it. Why do I care so much still when all this happens? I'm over him, but somehow there's a longing to be his friend. I just don't know what to do.
I've been ignoring him lately and it feels good, but weird.
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I used to have that almost same situation before.
Well here is how mine goes, he broke up with me because he realized he couldn't take commitments and that he wanted the feeling of just having "mutual understanding" but it wasn't the same anymore. We gave each other time and space and for a while there I felt happy without him. But it still got pretty awkward when he was somewhere near me.
I told him that maybe we could still be friends and I told him that I would always be there for him but the thing is he chose to stay away and he made the decision not to talk to me anymore. I always try to approach him or chat with him but it's like even though everything's okay between us it isn't the same anymore and sometimes I miss what we used to have.
The main reason why you still care is that there is a part of you that still loves him and also a part of you that misses what used to be. I know that feeling. It takes time to get used to because it's not gonna be the same anymore. What you need is time and a distraction.
Time heals all wounds. You are lost in somewhere between two worlds, Reality and past. And maybe you just need time to get back to where you are now.
I know ignoring him might feel a bit weird or awkward but that is the chance to change your life and start a new beginning. I'm sorry to say this but maybe you have to face you reality without him in your life anymore. Because if you stick with him, it would be like not letting go of your past and it will keep you getting hurt and I don't think you deserve that, You've been through a lot right now and all you need is time to think.
These are challenges given to us in life and we must learn from these things and also we must learn from our mistakes because it will teach us not to do the same thing wrong anymore.
The reason that it feels good when you're ignoring him is because he was one of the worries or troubles you had in your life and ignoring him is like slowly forgetting or releasing the pain. It's weird at first and then you get used to it in a while and when that time comes that's when you can say that when you fell down you got back up.
xoxo
Juliet
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