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Broken up
19 female-My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me two days ago. We've been off and on for the past 4 months because he is battling a serious drug addiction and doesn't want to drag me down while hes trying to get help himself. When he broke up with me he was here visiting because he lives 7 hours away. He told me how much he loved me and seemed really undecided. I know he needs time to figure out his life. It just hurts really bad and i begin to have a lot of doubt that he will ever come back. We were off and on because of the drugs and never really fight about other things. I am really self consious that maybe he just wanted out and didn't really mean when he said that he wanted to meet up later in life when hes figured out things and is working towards something. He kept saying that we were meant for each other and it makes this really hard. I know that he seriously does need time to himself and im proud of him for actually trying to change. I was a little mean because I was so sad and said things like I hate my life now cause of you but Im hoping he understands that I dont and that I was just being dramatic and upset. I really miss him and really want him to come back but I dont know what to do. I know he needs time and logically it makes sense, its just emotionally the coping is hard to deal with :/ Do you think he was just saying those things to make me feel better and doesn't really mean them? Or do you think he really will work on himself and one day come back to me? :/Any advice would be helpful, Ive never really been this sad in my life.
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The best thing you can do for him is to put your needs and wants concerning him aside. he's in recovery and before he can get into anything else in his life he needs to get himself together first and foremost before even thinking of taking anything else on. He's going to be needing a lot of intense therapy and time and space to deal with everything going on with him right now.
Not only may he drag you down with him but you could distract him from his recovery and treatment just by being there with him. Unintentional or not having a relationship with someone going through what he is can be damaging even when youre really trying to do the world of good. He needs to learn to manage on his own and help himself firth before thinking of others. it sounds as if he's doing really well right now.
If you're really meant to be together then you'll wait for him to get better and get to a place in his life and recovery where is mentally, emotionally and physically stable. Let him know that you are still there for him and you will continue to be supportive and caring. And you'll be waiting when he's fully ready to deal with something like a relationship.
Until then let him do this on his own. It hurts and you miss him terribly but it's for his own long term well being. Thats what love really is.
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Helloo...
I think you should support him in every aspect of his desicions & you should be by his side even as a friend, you never know if he could really need someone right now. Drug addiction is a major thing to get out off and it takes time, he cares about you because he doesn't want to make things worse, if he loves you he would try and win your heart again further on in life. It's all in patience like I always say 'Good things come to those who wait'.. living so far from eachother is actually quite hard but its also possible to make the relationship work. Being mean to him in a situation like this makes you seem like a jerk , or like selfish and its totally not the way to handle something. Being upset is absolutely fine breaks always hurt especially if they are for so long. Take it easy babe I think you need a break from your social life or at least talk to your mum about it if you both have a healthy relationship its never good to be alone in a time like this. Never give up and always stay positive if it was meant to be , he would come back for you after his drug treatment. Hope i could help hunnie !
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