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How to get my ex girlfriend back?
Recently my girlfriend of 2 years told me that she wanted to take a break. We are in a long distance relationship and I live in Japan and she lives in America. I always thought we were a solid couple and I still love her a lot. I talked to her on the phone today and told her all of my feelings. She said that the reason she wants to take a break is because she only has 1 month left of college studying abroad in America before she comes back to Japan to study, and wants to spend time with friends there before she has to return to school in Japan. I'm really confused because she said she loves me and stuff but that she just feels conflicted because she wants to spend time talking to me and also doing things with her friends and that she doesn't have time for both. On the phone she was crying so much and when I asked her if she wanted to break up with me she said no a few times. Even during that phone call I was really confident and was joking around with her and stuff. She knows that Im serious about the relationship because I moved her and found a job so I could be with her. She has been serious with me too and said that she cant wait to see me in a month and stay at my place. That was one week before she broke up with me. I have told her we could talk maybe only once a week to give her space but we did that for a couple weeks and now she says that since we never talk she feels like she doesn't know me anymore!
I'm working in Japan so I figured I will see her in a month, which makes me so surprised that she would break up with me a month before we will see each other again. Maybe it is true that she just wants to have more time with friends and stuff but I get the feeling she likes another guy. Why else would she just change so suddenly towards me? One week before she broke up with me she sent me messages about how she was so in love with me and that she could never have a better boyfriend. I was always appreciative and let her know how much I loved her and very open to her going out with friends.
I just feel so heart broken. We are both in our early 20's and this is my first big break up. On top of that I am in Japan, starting a new job and dont know anyone. I dont have anyone to talk to here and Im having second thoughts about why the hell Im here lol
I'm still very much in love with her and I have told her all this but I don't think she feels the same anymore. I wanna know if anyone has advice on how or what to do to get her back? Should I give her lots of space for a couple weeks or so? Should I still send her messages occasionally or is it better if I just stop talking to her?
I havent talked to her for one week and it is so excruciatingly painful because I think about her 24/7. I want to appear confident though and not clingy and give her space. She always talked about a future together so I never expected this. She has to come back here in 1 month to start school so i feel like even if she got with someone else in America she is gonna have to do a long distance thing with them for at least a year when she comes back here so it confuses me cause Im here now and can be with her for a year at least when she comes back.
I wanna know how can I get her back? My plan now is to call her cell phone in a few days so that will be one week after we broke up and just to be friendly to her and not talk about our relationship. Im conflicted because I dont want to push her away at all but I feel like talking to her really helps and the longer I wait the harder it might be for her to do so.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Looks like you're doing the right thing so far. You haven't panicked or bombarded her with texts/phone calls. If she has any feelings for you at all i'd say you're looking pretty good. Whatever it may seem like, she can't have just suddenly lost all feeling for you. It is possible someone may have turned her head, but it's also just as likely that even if this is the case, she will just as quickly realise that the grass is not greener. Check out this link for more: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Try to be patient... I know you want to make sure you get another chance--but the main idea is to get back into her heart slowly and efficiently. Do your best to soften things. Make her comfortable, secure and take a hold of her emotions.
Also, do your best to put your emphasis on the "little things" because they are the ones that truly make a difference. Be patient. If your ex sees you as a better caring person and that you take into consideration the small things she talks about or does, good things will happen.
After all this, things will slowly but surely begin to fall into place. Good Luck.
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Long distance relationships are hard.
if what she is saying is true give her space and maybe leave the occasional message like " good morning, just want you to know im thinking of you have a good day :)" dont over do it.
give her time, she may come around. You say your seeing her in a month? why not when your with her, ask her out to lunch or dinner as friends..
But in the mean time, focus on yourself. Go out, meet knew people, make new friend. Go to a movie and spoil yourself a bit. have fun. everything happens for a reason. just remember to smile.
hope that helps
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