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Close friend, very flirtatious — he has a girlfriend and a rep — help?
I'm 15, sophomore, female. He's 18, second-term senior, and a friend. We've only known each other for a few weeks, but have gotten very close: writing 2000 word, 21-paragraph emails to each other, my Facebook wall is 90% his posts/tags, as are my notifications, and we talk all the time, and often end up separating as a pair to talk more personally. But he has a girlfriend (of five months), who lives in a separate state. He's been very flirty with me, extra-close, but nothing outright; however, all of our friends, and even people who don't know our dynamic tell me he likes me. I really like him, but I recently heard from his ex's friend that he's a womanizing cheater who flirts with anything that moves and hooks up with plenty of random girls. What should I do? I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I was starting to think we might have had something going on. Help?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'd say if you really have a thing for him and your gut feeling says that he might have a thing back, then you should go for it. You have to be subtle at first by snooping around and seeing what you/your friends can find. I'm sort of in the same situation as you currently. Since he has a past of being a womanizing cheater, you need to watch out for that and you can't let him take control of you. You have to be the woman that he needs, not the woman that needs him. This is where a new found confidence comes into play.
In terms of his girlfriend of five months, after a certain point of figuring out if he's into you for sure, you have to talk to him about it. You, for sure, do not want to be "that" girl that breaks up relationships such as this. The fact that she lives in a separate state might be more of an incentive for him to go for you, but DO NOT accept any sort of intimate relationship with him unless he is single. You (I hope) have more respect for yourself, for him, and for his girlfriend than that.
With ruining your friendship, you need to ask yourself if this boy is worth risking a friendship and you need to figure out how much this friendship is worth to you. In developing a relationship, I think becoming friends is a vital part, but after that certain point, you need to figure out within yourself if a relationship with this boy is enough to risk a friendship. On the other hand, you don't even need to risk this friendship. You should hangout one on one and just talk to him about it calmly. Tell him what you want and ask him what he is, bluntly. Sometimes beating around the bush can definitely be avoided.
I hope I helped!
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