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How do I fix this anxiety?
18/female
my boyfriend and i have been dating for 7 months now.
we had a bad start to our relationship. lots of fights. almost ended our relationship a few times. but we managed to work it out. we are doing great now. we are both really working hard to make this relationship work. we are madly in love with each other. we have been talking about the future and made plans. we have also been talking about marriage and where we want to live together. i know it might be too soon to think about the future like that but we ARE soul mates. absolutely in love.. :)
my problem?
i get anxiety over this relationship. when i'm not with him, my heart races and i get anxiety.. i get thoughts about him cheating on me with other girls. or him having second thoughts about me. or him sending me a text about breaking up with me.. i get scared. really scared.
when i notice that something is wrong with him, i freak out. thinking that it might be about me. or that he's having second thoughts on me. whether he wants to break up or not.
it even gets to the point when i see he sends me 5 page texts and i freak out thinking its a "break up" text. my heart races hoping that its nothing bad.
i guess my question is.. if i'm so happy with him, why do i get anxiety on this relationship? do you think its because i'm scared to lose him? do you think i'm scared of losing things i love?
how do i fix this? i'm not sure if i want to mention it to my boyfriend because i'm scared he will take it the wrong way and have second thoughts.
sincerely,
happy but scared.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Have you asked yourself what is causing you to feel the way you do? After so many fights in a relationship we begin to brace for the next one and yes, You will have a next one. 7 months is not that long to be dating. Now onto the next question...
What was it that caused you two to fight in the beginning? How severe was it? ..
If it was an argument over petty stuff, Perhaps the anxiety kicks in knowing you two have in the past argued over something silly and therefore you could possibly be cautious to what you say and do for the sake of avoiding confrontation.
If it was something serious, You could possibly be preparing yourself for another time around depending on what ticked the relationship.
You are happy, You sure you aren't flattered by lust? There is a difference between lust and love and it takes a lot of brainy thinking to know the difference. From the sound of you posted, Your not just experiencing anxiety but you are feeling insecure in your relationship. You need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend, Think of ways to work on your relationship and create a stronger bond between the two of you. You are 18, 7 months is not that long to be dating..Lay off the future talk for awhile don't put stress on your relationship now. You and your boyfriend should be focused on getting to know one another more. Commitment comes later down the line, Don't rush things. Communication is golden key in relationships. You talk it out, You work it out. If your boyfriend ever has second thoughts about you, Then he was never worth your time.
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