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serial dater
So there's this guy Matt. He has a good friend, Bentley. I've liked Bently since the beginning of this school year. He has a girlfriend but he had no problem letting me know he liked me too. Long story, Short? I just feel like he's trying to play me. He hasn't even talked to me in a week so I don't know. Anyway, I've known both of these guys since I moved here 5 years ago. Matt is a junior and Bents a senior. I saw Matt in a suit last week and I never noticed how cute he was until then. Thing is my older sister, an ex real good friend, and another good friend of mine has dated him before. Another good friend of mine just started talking to him recently and she told me she felt bad for him. She lead him on and then dropped him. He seems so sad all the time. I don't think he's a bad guy like everyone assumes. I think I'm starting to like him but there are a few things I'm concerned about.
•He and Bentley are good friends.
•He's already dated my sister and two friends. Something obviously went wrong with them. I don't know.
•He knows a lot of people I know. If me and him went for it he would be the first person I've ever dated in my town. I've purposely not dated in my town because its small and things get out and I'm an extremely private person. I have secrets that I don't want getting out. But if I were to date him I know I would have to let go of a few of them. I don't want to tell him and then he turn around and tell his buddies. I want to be able to know that everything I say is between me and him only.
I don't know whether I should go for him or not? If yes, a lot. of of people might question me. I don't care I do what I want with who I want whenever. I care about what my sister might say. If I did this I was thinking I should keep it quiet for awhile but then eventually I'm gonna have to tell her. I'm completely lost in this situation. Any insight would be helpful :)
Please & thank you.
P.S. I'm 16 and he's 17
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He's seventeen. He should be a serial dater. He's still figuring out what he wants in life and relationships. It's not a bad thing at that young age to be willing to date around.
It's the young teens who get into four year long relationships that concern me a great deal more than a young teens who are willing to met many people and find out what fits.
HOWEVER, your sister has dated him. Even if your sister is an uber-bitch to you (and it sounds like she isn't), you should respect her opinion and listen very closely to what she has to say.
Rather than keeping it a secret, why not gently tell your sister now? If you don't tell her until afterwards, she might not want to tell you the whole truth of what her experience with this guy is and hurt your feelings. Let her know now what you are thinking and feeling about this guy, and tell her this is her chance to make her feelings known before you do anything about it.
You might still go ahead and date him - even if she doesn't like it, and you can tell her as much. But let her know that you love and respect her feelings enough to come to her for advice first, not last. I understand being very private. I'm very private person too. But my sister would be someone I'd always take the risk of opening up to - to keep our relationship honest and respectful.
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You are right! You shouldn't care about what anyone has to say, even your sister. You are free to date who ever you want to date!! Yes, maybe your sister will object, or she'll try to get you away from him, but she'll be speaking from her experience and she'll only be trying to protect you. But even then, you should follow your heart. I get that there is so much speaking against it. So many things could go wrong, people could find out and judge you but you know what, at least you two will be together!! You need to stop thinking about what could go wrong, and start thinking about what could go right! Forget everything, forget that he's been with your sister, forget that people say he's a bad guy forget it all!! Now answer your question, do you want to be with him? That's all you gotta know!
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