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Scared of my boyfriend...? No, what is this??
My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. I'm 19 and he's 21. I absolutely love him, he's my world and I honestly think he makes me a better person. However. We got into a fight the other day over a HUGE misunderstanding. (that's a whole nother story, it's not really that important). Anyway. Big fight right? Well. It got to a point where we were both screeeeaming and I backed up and leaned against a wall. He came over to me and we just stared at eachother for like ten seconds in hatred. And then all of the sudden he takes my hand in his left and with his right hand, punches a hole in the wall. Yep. Clean through. It was about a foot and a half to the side and a few inches higher than my head. I was in shock. Then he just started kissing me! But the weird thing is it was the most gentle kiss ever. I started crying though caus he literally scared the SHIT out of me. Who does that! I screamed at him and told him to get out (even though it was his apartment...) and he did. We worked out the fight later it wasnt even like real... A misunderstanding an it was so STUPID. Ugh. We talked later and he said he was sorry about showing that kind of anger around me. And I know that wasn't him. Ive jnown him since i was 12 and hes never had a temper that drove him to something like that, and I KNOW that but I still feel... Weird. I know he'd never hurt me or lay a hand on me like that but still, it was just scary... There's no way I'm throwing everything we had away over this but what do I do to get through this?? And what am I feeling right now...?
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You should have a sit down talk with him and tell him how your feeling. Open up to him and this will help you get over how you are feeling right now too.
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you're still in shock, sweetie. you know how when you're on your period, you might say some things to friends or parents or your boyfriend that you don't mean? well, think of this time as one of them. lets face it, you just admitted that you were staring at eachother in hatred for ten seconds. you were both extremely angry! the difference between both your angers is that he's a full grown man. hell, my boyfriend was 15 and punched a hole in the wall. all guys have done it, honestly. and he started kissing you afterward because he could probably tell it really scared you.
DO NOT throw away your relationship over this. of course he'd never hurt you! thats why he hit the wall, three inches ABOVE you. when you're mad you don't really know where to put your anger, and men being the alpha species, misplaced anger makes them even more angry and can result in throwing furniture, punching and kicking holes in walls, and what may seem like an abusive behavior. but more than half of them wouldn't lay a hand on their girlfriend or wife even if someone paid them to.
trust me, you have nothing to worry about. like i said, my boyfriend has punched his fair share of holes in walls, chopped down his door with an axe, broke his knuckles hitting bricks, threw furniture around the house, and he has NEVER ever even touched me. just remember, he's only human. he'll get mad. if it helps, ask him to go see an anger managment professional if you still have some insecurities. i'm sure he'll oblige.
hope i helped, and take care :)
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