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Waiting for my boyfriend or having sex with a new guy who is leaving?
ok so i've been having an on and off distance relationship with this guy for about a year, he was finally comming but recently he is always too busy to even answer my texts , he doesnt really show much interest on keeping speaking to me to be honest, BUT whenever i try to end it with him he doesnt want it to end he just says he has been so busy etc, i really like him alot and i am/ was in love with him as strange as it sounds cause obviously things werent this way before, they just have been for the past 2 months maybe, he has a very bad reaction sometimes when he is upset and he is extremly jealous, i can tell he cares cause he knows the situation isnt ideal and yet he wants us to stay together and for me to wait for him...
in that time i was ok with waiting i never really cared about other guys other than him and whenever i met a new guy i never agree on going out with him or anything cause to me it didnt feel right
so now i met a new guy....i dont know if its something about him, or maybe the fact my boyfriend has been neglecting me lately and not exactly the best...or maybe all together ...but i agree to go out with him we have been dating for about 2 weeks..and we've been to the point like right before having sex, i cant tell if he wants a relationship cause he is only here for a semester, but a part of me is telling me to go for it to have sex with him and see what happens, (im a virgin) if we stay together at least for the whole semester then at least i will enjoy it , and if it ends in him just being with other girls and then leaving then obviously id be heartbroken
i know it isnt ideal either of the situations, but my boyfriend isnt comming until in about 3 , 4 months ! and i feel that i just cant do it anymore i wanna be with him but i feeel that in the mean time im missing out on maybe meeting someone ! i wanna be with him so telling him that we should break until he comes is NOT an option, but also i wanna start seeing what happens with this new guy because its the first time i actually feel like whatever i dont care im gonna lose my virginity to him cause it feels right,,eventho in my mind is like..am i sure i want to do it with someone who might not get to be my boyfriend? whats going on in my head ! i dont understand where does this thoughts come from ! because i used to be like always strong about the ' i wont have sex with someone who isnt my boyfriend' idea and then this guy happens and im like i dont care at least i will enjoy while it lasts ....am i wrong for thinking this?
so waiting for my boyfriend doesnt guarantee anything, he has been mean to me recetnly , neglects me and never has time for me , but still i feel some emotional conection so its hard to just let go ...
being with this new guy feels right and eventho he has never told me he wants a relationship or anything i feel that at least id be doing this for me , not because he feels a certain way about me but because i like him and i wanna have sex with him...but im scared that im even thinking this way cause this is not like me !...
im very overly protective with my heart and feelings and i wasnt this way until my current boyfriend cause he has hurted me aloooot but still i cant let go ! ....so a part of me is telling me to just do what feels right and if it doesnt ends up right (in us having a relationship) then whatever im not gonna die or anything and even at this point i will be at least a bit hurt if he starts dating other girls ....so im like if im gonna get hurt anyway ! maybe one is gonna hurt more than the other ...then why not do what i want?...
i mean waiting for my boyfriend is :
currently worrying 24/7 where he is cause he lies to me and he is ALWAYS out , he never has time to speak to me but when i try to leave him he doesnt let me do it and to be honest i really dont want to i just want him to care !
being with the new guy:
*i could have sex with him and we could become boyfriend girlfirend (since i kinda told him i didnt wanted to have something that casual but to have exclusivity) but he wasnt very clear about his thoughts about it he was kinda confusing like gave me the idea that he isnt dating anyone else and that he could tell people hes with me etc...and then i ruined it by being too negative about it so i would have to bring the subject up..
*if i have sex with him and it doesnt work out well i will be hurt aloot
*if i dont have sex with him and still it doesnt work out i will be hurt still cause i do care about him and like him alot
*if we end up being together he will leave anyway at the end of semester cause staying is not an option he is from a different country
so i dont know i know im not clear about this but i just need someone to tell me an opinion :( !!!! my head's so messed up !
im 21 by the way, im at university, foreign guy is 22, and my boyfriend is 23
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
what you need to do is stop thinking about when your going to have sex cause its not the end of the world if you don't get any. its always nice when its with someone you truly care about, and when you're ready it will just happen don't plan it! second yea it sucks when your boyfriend neglects you from time to time but thats the problem with distance relationships it will happen. if you want him to pay more attention tell him honestly whats going on in your mind and whats going to happen if things don't get better. now about this other guy i think for the time being just be friends with the guy until you figure whats really going to happen instead of just going for it only cause its seems like a good idea at the moment. its not think about what you really want then plan from there. hope this helps!
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