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did he lose interest?
17/f
So a friend of mine asked me out last month, and I said yes (He's the drummer in my rock band). Two weeks ago, we were hanging out at his house and he kissed me. As embarassing as this sounds, I got really nervous was kind of... unresponsive. I know that you're supposed to kiss them back, but I honestly didn't know what to do. My mind just blanked out. He said that he could tell I was really nervous.
This past Thanksgiving break he didn't ask me out on a date even though we had the whole week off and I know for a fact that he wasn't busy. He calls me up regularly to talk, but this isn't too different from the way he behaved before we started going out (and he does that with lots of his other friends).
I went over to his house for band practice and today he invited me over to hang out, but with a couple of our other friends from school. Sometimes he puts his arm around me, but still, he didn't ask me out on a date.
Also, when we first started dating he said he wanted to tell all of his friends about it because it's not as fun to have a girlfriend if you're keeping it a secret. But today, after some kids went home, my best friend Cameron asked him why he hasn't told his mom about us going out. He replied that he was afraid his mom might be annoying and awkward about it... even though he's had no problem telling his mom about other girlfriends in the past.
So... just based on what I've described, is he not attracted to me anymore?
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He may feel you rejected him slightly. You need to talk to him if you want the relationship to continue. He may have not been nervous before, but could be shaking inside with fear that YOU dislike HIM now.
Sit down alone together and talk about what happened. I know it's embarrassing. Tell him that you felt embarrassed by your lack of appropriate reaction. Just explain that it happened so suddenly you weren't sure what you should be doing. You like him, you want to have a close relationship, but it was kind-of new to you and caught you off-guard. Apologize if it hurt his feelings. Explain to him that you DO want kisses, hugs, dates, and cuddles with him as often as possible. It's just that you need to get warmed up to those sorts of things so that you can break that friendship barrier that is holding you back from jumping in and enjoying the relationship together.
If it bothers you that he hasn't asked you out on another date recently then ask him about it. Just be honest with him. "I felt like you weren't interested in me any longer because you didn't ask if I wanted to see you over the break after you made it clear that you wouldn't be busy. Maybe that's silly of me to think but I just felt like I screwed a bunch of stuff up by not reacting right when you kissed me. I want you to like me and I want this to work." It could be as simple as him saying, "Well, I didn't want to ruin your plans for the week since it's a holiday thing. I didn't mean to make you feel like I wasn't interested. I was just trying to give you a little space for family time." Voila. Honestly, straight-forward answer. No more guessing games or assumptions to be made.
His past girlfriends could have caused issues with his mother and his relationships. Just because he told her about his ex-girlfriends doesn't mean it's a good idea right now in such an early part of this relationship. People grow up and learn from past mistakes. Maybe before he told his mother about a girlfriend early into the relationship and it was embarrassing when they broke up right away. Maybe his mother is pushy about some certain subjects that he'd rather not talk about with her just yet. If you're really, truly concerned then talk about it. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
"I noticed you really haven't said anything to your mom about us. I don't want you to be embarrassed that I'm your girlfriend or something. I know we just started dating not too long ago, too. Is there a reason you don't want your mom knowing about me just yet? I'd really like to get to know her and have her like me as your girlfriend and it kind of makes that difficult if we're trying to hide our relationship from her."
Open up.
He probably isn't unattracted to you all of a sudden. He might just be embarrassed or suddenly nervous by your lack of reaction to the straight-forward kiss. He may be afraid to "go further" with the relationship in fear that YOU are not interested in HIM now. Open up. Sit down. Talk to him.
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