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How do I keep my man happy? I am trying to stay a virgin?
So Im trying to stay a virgin. The guys I dated in high school did not really have a problem with it. We would fool around a lot and I made sure he was happy :)
Well I started college this year and I met a few boys who I of course made out with and Ill admit, even did a little more. Usually when I meet a boy, we will make out and if we have been kissing for a bit, Ill let him grab and suck my tits. I dont do this in public just if we are like in his room or something and no one is gonna walk in. I have really big tits and I just dont wear a bra so its really easy for him to get to them. Most of the time, the guy Im making out with will finger me and play with me and Ill come and it usually ends there.
This is pretty much what happened with this guy Ill call David. We met at a party and we started talking and soon we were making out. One thing lead to another and yeah...it didnt go farther than him touching me down there that night. He called me later and asked me to come over but I didnt want him to think of me in just a sexual way so I said no. He then asked if I wanted to go to dinner. We had a great night and I ended up giving him head which he said was the best head in his life. And he said a lot of girls have done that before to him.
At first I was really happy but now Im like oh my god...how can I compete with all those other girls. I told him Im a virgin and he said that he respected that. For a month now Ive been crazy paranoid. I really like him and dont want him to see other girls just cuz I wont have sex with him so I see him like every day and give him head or do whatever he wants. I try to keep it interesting with like ice cubes and strip teases and lingerie.
Hes been asking me if he could just rub the tip of his dick against me and I said yes. Weve been doing that a lot recently and one time he accidentally put the tip of his penis a little too far. It actually felt really good and now Im wondering if Im ready for sex. He said that wasnt sex and he has been doing it like every time we meet. Hes never come inside me which is how I know its not sex but he said it feels really good and it does feel good when he is in there. Should I just have sex with him?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
I have to be honest with you, I am not really getting this kind of definition of "virgin". Certainly, ejaculation inside a woman is not the way its defined, by any standard. You can have sex and pull out and the girl is certainly not a virgin.
Second, I dont get the benefit of being a "virgin" that does everything else with guys except vaginal sex. This is of course up to you, and I am am not criticising your choice, but I find it hard to understand.
The reason I mention this is that a guy can still lie and say he does not like you just in a sexual way just to get all other other "benefits". Its not exactly denying him all that much.
Now, onto more concrete advice. First I am worried about the way you think about guys and sex. The way you phrase things, sex is something one keeps guys with, and that one competes with other girls with. And yet sex should not be the foundation of a long lasting relationship (no matter how good it is).
Its going about it backwards a bit in my opinion and it could lead to heartbreak. The decision to have sex should come from you and not from a fear of losing some guy. It should be because its the right time for you, and this is the right person ("right" defined according to your principles on sex).
So, sit yourself down and ask yourself exactly what you want. What does sex mean to you? Why is being a virgin important? How serious do you think your relationship to this guy can become? Keep the questions open (as in not yes or no) and inquisitive. And once you have your version of the answer, do not compromise because of insecurity or fear of losing someone.
I know this wasnt exactly what you were after, but at least you have a guy's perspective. Hopefully others who are better at this will have a go after me :)
Best of luck.
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Well nobody can make that choice for you.
If you feel that you would never regret it then why not?
But don't let him or anybody else pressure you into it. And whatever he is doing is defined pressure.
Being a virgin is awesome. And you should do it with somebody special to you.
And you shouldn't feel guilty and try to please him all the time, that is wrong. You keep feeling that it's your duty to give him head and please him everytime you see him. But, no it's not your duty at all.
If he is going to love you, then he is going to love you a virgin.
Good Luck =]
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