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Boy Issues :(
Hey, so you said if we had a realtionship question you were our guy. Well hey... haha uhm so I'm fifteen female and I'm a sophomore. About five months ago me and my boyfriend (16/m junior) of seven months broke up. While we were dating he pressured me into letting him finger me, almost physically forced me to give him a handjob and guilted me into giving him a blowjob four days before he dumped me in a text message... I guess I was pretty messed up at the time. He had me super whipped, and that's not all his fault. After the split we were still on pretty bad terms. We still talked and fought and yelled at eachother and couldn't seem to straighten it all out... He also told me that he was only in the relationship for the last three months for the physical parts... Then he decided to tell everyone he could about how far we went. He also made up a rumor that we had sex saying gross stuff like "when I was on top I thought I was gonna break her cause she's so tiny. It was great though, she let me do whatever I wanted, I coulda stuck it up the ass if I'd wanted to". And all of that stuff just really hurt... In my delusional state I really did care about him and I obviously trusted him... Yeah it was a bad idea but I did. And to have that trust just thrown back in your face and stabbed in the back... It was a horrible time for me. Not only boyfriend stuff, my parents were separeted during the time (they're back togehter now though). Anyway, about two months after the break up he tried to apologize for everything. But I didn't think he should just be able to be a dick for two months and think everything will be fien just cause he shot me one semi sincere text message... So I called him a week later and we had areally long really good chat and he said he really wanted to be friends but I still wasn't sure so I told him I'd think about it. We didn't talk for awhile and I was kind of still getting over things. But one night we were hanging out in a big group (it was in the middle of the me thinking and figuring out era) and he was ignoring me all night even though I was TRYING to be friendly and stuff. So I kind of yelled at him :\ which I know I shouldn't have done. He was mad. We haven't been good since then... I tried to apologize and tell him I still wanted to be friends but he wants nohting to do with me. I messed up once!! He fucked up our entire relationship and basically ruined my life and I yell at him once and suddenly I'm the most annoying creature that's walked the earth... It's stupid. I want to be friends because I know that until we are on good terms, I'm not gonna get over what happned. I have to forgive AND forget to finally move on... And I want to move on. A lot. He's good friends with my best friend too which also adds some motivation for me to settle things I jsut don't know where to go from here... I've told him everyithing I've wanted to tell him, the balls in his court but I don't think he's gonna do anything with it... for some reason I only get one mess up card and it's just not fair... I like someone else now and I've moved on in a sense that I don't liek him anymore but I'm so tired of harboring all of these negative feelings for my ex... And I know if I try to talk to him about it more than I already have it'll just annoy him more... So what are some ACTIONS I can take to show him we can work as friends??
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Wow. First off, I'm sorry you got stuck with "that kinda guy." It seems to me, at first when you broke up, he still wanted something to do with you, but now I think that the relationship part is done and over with. Also, I think this guy gets off on control. There is nothing worse than being with a control freak. They yell and scream and want you to live your life as a hermit. As far as actions you can take to show him you can work as friends, maybe you have a friend's birthday coming up and you could ask him if he would like anything to do with it. Or if you and some friends are hanging out, you could invite him along. Be sure to not do too many things to smother him, or lead this guy on. What i would do, is just take it easy for a few days, see if he says anything. You said the ball was in his court, maybe he is just playing with it at the moment. I'm not saying that i know how things will turn out, but if you give him the space he is bluntly asking for, and then invite him along on small little hang outs then the outcome is more than likely going to be more positive than if you don't do anything. Good luck sweetie, if you want, message me and we can talk about it.
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