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Okay. So when my ex and I first started dating things were great. It wasn't until like month five that we started having issues. I never knew why. Until I started thinking about it the other day. It was around that time that my parents started having problems with their marriage. Whenever they talked it was always a fight. So they were either fighting or being disgustingly seuxual with eachother... Then I realized that that's what happened to MY relationship. If me and my boyfriend weren't fighting we were hooking up... It was like there was no in between. (My bf and I broke up about five months ago). At the time he told me he was only in the relationship for the last three months for the phyiscal stuff... and I would think "wow what a douche I can't believe thats all he wanted from me" but what if thats all I was giving him?? What if it was my fault becuase through some messed up thing in my brain I brought my parents relationship into my own?? Maybe I was pushing him away emotionally and only letting us connect physically. But then I think to myself "but I TRIED to make us connect emotionally when I felt him drifting" would trying too hard be the same as pushing away?? I don't know... What do you gusy think? I really wanna know cause I'm about to get into a new relationship and I don't want something like this to happen again...
(I'm sixteen female my ex is seventeen male)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are climbing a bit far out on that branch I think, trying to draw connections that just don't quite make sense.
Did watching your parents go at each other effect your situation with your boyfriend? Yeah. Probably.
But it was just a small part of millions of factors that were playing around in both you, and your boyfriend's, complicated and brilliant brains.
Your parent’s interactions probably stressed you out - You probably didn't mimic them or get confused about which relationship you were in!
Did you have some ownership over the failure of your relationship? Yeah. Probably.
Rarely is it all ones person's fault. The way you handled your stress from home (and all the other millions of factors that were playing around in your brain) was probably both pushing and pulling at him.
Just be aware of things you might have done, and things that might have affected your attitude in your past relationship, but don't pretend that A EQUALS B. Your parents fighting and screwing didn’t equal you and your boyfriend fighting and screwing. You didn't get confused. It just didn't work out. It didn't work out for millions of reasons. It might not work out with this next guy for millions of completely different reasons.
It's good to be aware of what is going on your own head. It's bad to pretend things are so black and white and simple as you suggest here. It's good to consider things you might have done better. It's pointless to carry your past mistakes in your future relationships.
Don't worry so much about it. Learn what you can from the past without jumping to huge conclusions, and just try your best.
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