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Newlyweds and fighting all the time
okay going to brief and blunt. Just got married in 2010 and I have 3 kids my newly husband also has 3 kids, It seems like we are always fighting over my kids and his kids I hate the fact it comes down to his and mine. I am always saying it shouldnt be that way. His kids call me mom but my kids dont call him dad, they have a dad close by, although his kids are not that blessed their mother left them 4 yrs ago and has no contact with them. I was gonna leave my husband before we got married but when I told him I was planning on leaving he changed his ways towards me. I wanted love and attention when all kids went to bed he wanted his tv and video games. For awhile he seemed different but now its like he went back to the same person. I love this man so much I just dont think he loves me like a husband should I feel like I am here to cook for him clean his house and take care of his kids. Last fight we had was my kids have been going to the same school since they were in kindergarten now the oldest is in 4th grade his kids go to the school distr. we live in. My husband feels like I need to transfer my kids to his kids' school so I dont have to drive them every morning. Note their school is only 3 minutes away. I tried to explain to him that I cant just pick up and transfer my kids it will do them no good. Oldest child has seriously disable needs and the teachers their no him like the back of their hands. I dont feel like its the best answer but he doesnt want to hear it he just thinks his say dont count in our marriage and doesnt want to hear the reason why I want to keep my kids in their school. Any advise would be helpful im lost and confused. (oh and we have been together for a total of 3 yrs) Thanks
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You guys need help. Badly. the first year of marriage is always the toughest. Now, add to that 6 kids (wow!), one being disabled, and you've got a recipe for stress! I don't care what the financial situation is, you've GOT to make a way to go find counseling, either through your religious organization or a professional. I promise, there are very deep issues at play here that require a 3rd party for the two of you to work together. Marriages that happen between adults who already have children have a much higher rate of failure than normal, so you've go a lot working against you already. A 3rd party can help you see what is working, what needs to be changed, and what problems you face together that are actually quite common and have very common answers. And before you worry about the money, ask yourself how much it would cost to pick up everything and leave and go through a divorce. Its worth it. Trust me. do it and do it soon. If hubby won't go, go without him until you feel confident about where you're going in life. The bad news is, you will both have to work HARD to make this work, the good news is, it CAN be done, and you can have the happy and healthy home you always dreamed of. Good luck.
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