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Is It Over For Us
18/f
me & my boyfriend of 5 months had an argument a few days ago. it's our second since we have been together. i had been getting quite moody with him recently for no reason, so i brought it up. i said i wondered if it would be best if we ended our relationship because it wasnt fair on him. he begged me to stay with him. i said i would think on it and decide the next day. the day later he said he now thought that we should break up.
at first i thought he was testing me, because i had said it to him. but he went all the way and we broke up. i asked why and he said because he didnt want me to have doubts about our relationship. i explained i didnt have doubts about the way i felt, and that i loved him etc.
any way i asked to meet up, he agreed, and said he wont tell anyone about the break up until we have met up. but he said he doubts anything will change his mind. we spoke for hours, and i was really honest about everything and he said the only thing stopping us getting back together is he doesnt want to get more hurt if i decide in 2 months time to doubt the relationship again, i asked him to give it a try and if he had faith in me he would.
we left on a good-ish note. it got late, so we went home seperately. he said he is going to come and speak to me later in the week if i want. i agreed, but said it was pointless if it wasnt going to change anything. he still said he didnt think anything would change, but a lot of things i said make sense and he said "i could wake up tomorrow and feel differently about it all"
the next day, i log onto facebook and he is listed as single. it seems like hes already made up his mind?!?! i sent him a message saying i dont know if i want to wait until late this week for a decision, because i feel like i'm still going to get hurt from it, am i going to? and he said i told you i just dont know
sorry this is so long, but what can i do now?? i do really love him
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
After 5 months and only two arguments you were ready to break up with him but changed your mind. Yes he is going to wonder about going out with you, especially if you have been moody
Men want the woman they love and care about to be happy with them. You haven't been. No one wants to be dumped. You were ready to dump him. Men and women want to feel it's safe to disagree and have their own opinion. The fact that the "almost" dumping came after an argument makes things worse.
So now he's gun shy. ok. Wait. The truth is that love hurts. It takes brave people to love. He waited for your response, give him the same respect. Let him know that you care for him, love him, have the intention of working it out and will give him X amount of time to decide. In the mean time avoid facebook. It will only drive you crazy. Do things that make you happy. Happy is attractive.
On a side note Give some thought to why you have been moody. If there is something that needs to change in your life this extra alone time may be the perfect time to handle that.
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Well your boyfriend is really confusing, but i think he is doing this because he thinks you are doubting the relationship, and he doesn't want you to have any doubts. He probably thinks the reason you said that was because you didn't really like him so now he doesn't want to be with you.
And the way you write is confusing too like i don't understand this part getting back together is he doesnt want to get more hurt if i decide in 2 months time to doubt the relationship again, i asked him to give it a try and if he had faith in me he would."
He seems like he has mixed feeling about the whole situation because one day he says he wants to be with you and the other day he said he doesn't want to and now he is saying that he is not sure?
Even if you do love him don't put up with beign pushed around like this, no one should. Just wait until the week he said he was going to meet and tell him "you are confusing me, the only reason i told you that maybe we shouldnt be together was for YOUR benefit, so ask him if he really still loves you and you still do and if he wants to make it work. If he keeps beign stupid saying " i don't know" Just let him have some time for himself, i'm sure he'll come around because he sounds like he really likes you!
Good Luck<3, SandyDandy
Write back on my advice column if you have anymore questions.
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