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humorist-workshop
hey, sorry its long.
hi, im the one who asked about the advice but i need to give u the full story.
well about two months ago my boyfriend broke up and i was so confused at first to be honest cause i didnt see it coming until he texted me that night saying hey there instead of his normal hey beautiful so he called me and broke up with me and then texted me two seconds after saying this was just a break and normally why believe a guy when he says that but he isnt like most guys so i believed him. but then the two after that i bugged him and i know i shouldnt have but i did and i regret it. so then i kept texting him on and off cause i didnt understand why he would break up with me.
so the reasons he gave me were he didnt have time ( which he was busy with volleyball, track & school so he can get into a d1 school), things faded & i was more serious than him but that didnt make sense cause we were on the same page in our relationship and even talked about it.
so then i decided maybe he needed time cause i had questions and he just couldnt answer them and they were such easy questions but whatever so i gave him a month off and then texted him about three weeks ago and have been talking but sometimes he doesnt answer. then he told me he was mad cause i insulted him the few weeks after he broke up with me and i did but i didnt mean it, i was just angry so i apologized and he said thanks. i just dont know what he wants outta me.
well hopefully that helped. sorry its long
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Hi there,
That does help a lot, actually.
I know this would be hard for you to see from his point of view, and I don't know if it will help now even if you were able to. Even if this situation isn't going to work, perhaps what you learn from this, will make things better next time.
From what you have written, I think it is safe to say that there is a major piece missing from this story if there is any hope of fixing things.
If what you have presented is all there is, then what you have here is, at this point, pretty much him screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE!" at the top of his lungs. Not verbally, perhaps, but by his actions.
There is only one reason I know of that a guy will not contact a girl he likes for an entire month, and that is if he isn't sure she likes him.
You have put yourself out there by letting him know you are interested, and he has very clearly let you know that he is not interested.
The reasons he gave may have been valid at the time. Many guys feel very overwhelmed, especially if the gal wants to spend every moment together. It sounds like he didn't feel like he was as serious about the relationship as you were.
He told you this, directly, which is rare for a guy to do by the way. The problem here seems to be that "...we were on the same page in our relationship..." wasn't true.
You may have thought the two of you were on the same page, but either that was a misunderstanding, or something in the relationship caused him to turn the page.
This business of bugging him when you knew it would annoy him, then following that with a few weeks of insults, would turn a break due to time issues into a permanent goodbye.
Once you lose respect for someone, it is almost impossible to go back to the way things were.
I know you apologized, and he may well accept your apology, but that will not undo the hurt that your words may have caused.
I don't know if you are ready to hear this or not, and I am sorry to be the one to say it, but from a guy point of view... this relationship is over.
He has made it pretty clear that whatever was there has been broken beyond his ability to continue being with you.
Perhaps there will come a time in the future where things will be different... but that would be way down the road judging from what you have said.
If you give me an idea of the questions he couldn't answer, I could probably give you an idea of what he was avoiding saying by not answering them.
You end your question by stating that you don't know what he wants out of you... well, it sounds like he wants nothing at all from you. When a guy doesn't contact you for a month, it isn't playing hard to get... it is him moving on with his life.
Whatever happened, you may never know. That is the worst part of things like this. Sadly, you just have to move on and leave him alone. Nothing good will come of continuing to contact him when he doesn't want the contact.
If you haven't already, that is a sure way to kill any feelings he might have had left for you.
I am sorry.
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