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This is in regard to your response.
I understand taking it slowly, but you see we've been together over three years, so I don't know how much slower we can go haha. I mean like I have urges to do things, i just over think and they end up stressing me out so I don't do it. That's my main problem, I always freak myself out and get stressed and think I'mma be stupid if I try, it's a confidence thing. As for the BDSM thing, it is also in the same pool, I lack the self confidence to feel like I am better then the other girls and I'm the only one he is interested in. It doesnt help that when he watches the videos for the BDSM shows he says to himself 'oh that's so sexy oh i really like that' it really bothers me cause i feel i cant provide that for him. I have NO PROBLEM with PDA at all, it's just the oober freaky stuff that I feel like I'm not experienced enough and Imma look stupid, and I know the only way to gain experience is to do it, but i just get so stressed out. I occasionally stay up at night and cry wishing i wouldnt stress myself out like this.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I have the same issues girlfriend, lol. or had, anyway. Once its fully established what's sexy and what's not, and what you both would like, like, everything, then it gets a little easier. Now I am able to just walk up to my boyfriend pull his hair back, and give him a nice big smooch and tell him that he better go in the bedroom cause I'm ready for some action. It really is easier to just do it. My boyfriend is into the whole latex fetish thing and the dominate and submissive roles, and I had never done anything like that before I was with him. After watching a few porns and reading a few things on the internet, you find out what's sexy. Though, it does help if you feel sexy yourself. Try buying a sexy outfit, and doing your make up, and some sexy high heels definitely help. It will give you more confidence because you'll be able to SEE that he finds it sexy. Once you know he finds it sexy, soon enough you will be able to walk up to him and be like "Hey freak, do me like you've never done anyone before, I want it crazy". Sometimes its good to feel a little stupid as crazy as that sounds, cause then you know what not to do next time, but I'm sure he won't make you feel stupid about anything that you're doing. The one person you should be able to feel stupid in front of is your boyfriend, because in the end, it doesn't matter. He's not going to stop loving you just because something wasn't as sexy as it was thought out to be. If he tells you about something he doesn't like so much, try not to take it offensively and just see it as experience for the future. FE, my boyfriend STILL tries to kiss and lick my ear after a year and a half even though i keep telling him it turns me off. Im sure i embarrass him to cause now i just say NOT MY EARRRRRRRRRR!, but hopefully one day it sinks in, until then he's not going crazy over it because its sex, and he gets it either way. You should also think about writing down things that YOU think are sexy about yourself, that way you can focus on that instead of all the worry. I hope your elaborated question and my elaborated answer help you to feel more confident.
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