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Had Sex, NOBODY KNOWS! What do i do!?!?!???
QUESTION MAINLY FOR WOMEN, BUT MEN ARE WELCOME TO ANSWER.
16/F
my first time was last year. Between then and now i've had sex wit one other guy. bothe my 1st and my 2nd aer currently my ex's. My new boyfriend, whom i've been dateing for 1/2 year now knows i'm not a virgin.
My problem is i haven't told my mom (whom is a layer in another state) or my grandmoter(my legal gardian. So my Bf and i have been talking about having sex, but i'm scared..
i'm scared because i've heard that you have to do daily check-ups, and constantly have a metal thing stuck inside you, getting tested, birth controle, ect. And because of the lack of information i decided NOT to share with my mom and grandmother, i've done NONE of this.
i'm not sure if not doing these things can kill me (well i know STD's can but i've had protected sex) or cause damage to my body to the point where i can NEVER have kids. i'm scared out of my mind and i have no idea what to do.
If i don't go to the Dr. what will happin?
What happins if i don't get that metal clamp thing done? Is birth controle realy needed if i'm protected?
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!??
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You need a check-up because you're sexually active, I hate to break it to you but condoms do not protect you from all STDs. There are also other things like HPV which can be transmitted and can lead to cancerous cells in your female parts. You, obviously, know there are some serious risks by not getting your regular womanly check-ups so I'll spare you much more detail which may only increase your anxiety.
Tell your legal guardian that you're 16 years old, have your period, and feel like you should be seeing a doctor for a yearly check up. You don't need to say you had sex. As a part of sex ed. (and online resources galore) they have began instructing parents to take their daughters for their yearly check-ups once they begin having periods. Being 16, you've probably already missed a few years then, right?
So, you can pull that one out of the bag. Your friends go to their check-ups. You're a woman now and you want to make sure everything is healthy. You want to take care of your body.
If all else fails, you can pull the, "I'm having some funny...discharge stuff...coming out...I think it's time to see a doctor..." Your grandma isn't likely to check out your panties and you can go into the doctor's office and say, "I am sexually active and want to get my yearly done with now." They are not legally allowed to tell your mother, father, or any other legal guardian if you've been sexually active before.
The "odd discharge" excuse typically works because it can very well be serious if left untreated. Grandma might be a little confused at first but no need to worry. You can get yeast infections from very basic things like poor eat habits, wearing very tight pants, and even wearing thongs sometimes. It can happen to virgins so it isn't like, "OMG! YOU HAD SEX!" And she's likely to go on and make the calls for you to get an appointment scheduled.
Condoms are only about 83% effective against pregnancy. Which is worse: Telling your grandma you've had sex before or telling your grandma that you're pregnant? Birth control pills are about 97% effective or so if taken properly--these two methods of protection can be very effective on reducing the chances of unwanted pregnancies. Please note, neither will fully protect you against STDs.
The "metal clamp thing" is pretty necessary once you've had sex. That's how they open the vagina up a little big and check things out. They'll swab/scrape a bit of you cervix to check for abnormal cells and see if you have infections, cancer, or any other issues. Skipping the "metal clamp thing" is really just stupid. It's absolutely the most valuable part of the entire doctor's appointment.
It's ok. Take a deep breath and go for it. It will all be over in a matter of an hour (probably less) for the doctor's appointment. It's very necessary to ensure your health and safety. Remember, you are important. Sometimes taking care of yourself means doing things you're not too keen on doing in the first place. Do the right thing.
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