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trust issues
So I've had a lot happen in my life, and I have a big issue with trust. I've been cheated on and a lot of other things. I have a new boyfriend, and I've known him for a long time, he was cheated on too. He says he really likes me and is happy with me, and he tells me everything that goes on with him and tells me he doesn't lie and cheat because someone did that to him and it made him extremely sad. He's a really nice guy, and I like him a ton, except I still find myself doubting him. I can't trust anyone anymore even if I want to! I really want to trust him because I feel like he is honest, but I just can't. What should I do?
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Trust is an important factor in any relationship. It's foundation.
It's easy to lose, and difficult to regain, but it will happen in time.
If you honestly like this guy, *believe* he has good intentions. '
Of course, this is putting yourself at risk, but that's what life is. A load of risk taking and uncertainty. Put yourself out there, and as hard as it may be now, open up to him when you can. Keeeep telling yourself he's a good guy, and you want this to work. If not, you'll be stuck in this endless hole of doubt and worry.
You've both been cheated on, and it wouldn't surprise me if he felt the same way. Since he knows how it feels to be hurt that way, try to talk it out with him. This is easier said than done, but it's what you need to do, and it will be your first, slow step into gaining trust with him.
I hate doing this, but for you I think it's kind of necessary. All my life, I've been called coldhearted and shut off. Since my early early teens/pre-teens, I would keep my feelings and thoughts to myself. It took a lot to find someone that I could confide in, and just talk to. I'm hoping, for you, this guy you're dating could be YOUR confidante. Everyone needs that, and it would seriously help your relationship. It'll 1, bring you closer. and 2, help your journey towards regaining trust in people.
I hope that this will work for you, because having trust is important in life as a whole, not just in romantic relationships. You will doubt him for a while, but just remember, he has the same position to doubt you also. Take your past and see it as a growing experience, you know that there are cheaters and liars out there, and all you can do is hope you come across someone who is the opposite. Someone trustworthy, and someone you will like to have around.
Keep telling yourself you're strong enough, and that you can do this, even if you feel like you can't.
If you need any support, just let me know. I'd be happy to help. <3 Take care, and good luck.
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Trust me i am extremely jealous, and there is no easy way to just get past jealousy, i think doubting is normal because you have been cheated on, the main thing that helps stop the doubt is having CLEAR OPEN COMMUNICATION,i mean talking about everything not only doubt for family feelings thoughts ect., i hope you have talked to him about this too, i think the best thing to do is mention this to him and find a way where ya'll work this out, it's not just going to go away, i personally came across this website called nomorejealousy.com and i wasn't really that jealous enough to buy the program but once you are there you sign up for free emails that give you encouraging words and techniques to help you stop doubting and help get those awful thoughts away from your head! This has helped me a lot and i can honestly say i live like a normal person who trusts but knows where to cross the line. I think these everyday tips will help you get through, but never forget to talk to him about your feelings too, how you are doubting so he can be there to support you, and help you, talking about it will only strengthen the relationship, i really hope you check out the website i'm sure it would be great help for you, good luck:)
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