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I think I'm really depressed
I'm in college. I love my school and I just got hired at an awesome job. But, the biggest thing in my life is missing. I miss my ex so much. I see him often and I also see him suffering because he wants to be with me too. I want to talk to him because I know that we can work it out. I also know that he loves me too. We've talked about our plans after college, getting married, and we're just not together right now because of something SO stupid. He's just scared that I'm going to argue with him over the break-up in the first place and I am no longer like that. I miss him so much. He is also my best friend. I've known him since high school and I just feel so empty inside. All I want to do is talk to him, hug him, tell him it's okay and I don't know how to do it. I'm just as scared as he is of getting hurt because we are so passionate about each other that we don't even know how to make the first move. It's like this really big piece of my life is missing. And I just want to remind him of the good times. I'm so lonely. I've tried seeing other people and it's just not the same. I don't want to hear about how to meet other people. It's just pointless. All I do is go out and run circles around town with my family and their starting to get on my nerves. I love them but there's only so much I can hear about taxes and the census. I go out with one of my girlfriends but she has a boyfriend and I hate being the third wheel. I keep thinking that the depression could be coming from other things. Maybe I'm just stressed over moving away from home, finances, and things like that. I am an adult and when people begin "adult things," like credit cards and real estate, they get stressed. I thought maybe that could be it. But, I think about it and everything is fine. I don't have a lot of friends, but I don't need them. I have one good friend who really cares about me. I have all my family. I'm really close to my mom. But, it's like there's something missing. I do things to try to keep myself busy and happy. I go to the gym every day and that helps. But, the effects only last so long. Soon enough, I get home and I just start crying because I'm all alone. Please help!! I KNOW HE LOVES ME TOO! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I KNOW! HE IS IN LOVE WITH ME. I just don't want to write the entire situation down because I know people who use this site and I don't want them to know how miserable I am. I just need an opening line.... one thing to say to him that will let him know it's ok. I want to talk to him but he's always with these friends and it's awkward. I want to say something that will give him a minute to ourselves. Please don't tell him to ask him to coffee lol. it's just too cliche and it's not going to work. I want him to ask me out... but i just need to let him know it's ok to do so. he's afraid i'm still upset.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I was definitely going to say invite him to lunch, but you shot that down before I could finish your question.
What are you looking for? Do you really expect that one look or word is going to bring him to his feet begging you for forgiveness? That's not going to happen. If you are so sure he loves you, then what's stopping you from making the first move? Put your pride and fears in the back seat and make a move if you really do want to be with this guy. If you don't, there is a chance you two will never get back together. There is also a chance he will move on, so you better do something about it now before he meets someone else. Why should he wait around if he sees you enjoying college, your job, your friends, the other guys you have been seeing. How is he supposed to know you go home and cry yourself to sleep? He doesn't.
If he loves you like you say he does, he is probably just as miserable as you are. Why draw it out? Just text him something like, "let's meet up. I really need to talk to you." If he says no, then he probably isn't as in love with you as you seem to think. If he says yes, meet up somewhere (doesn't have to be a coffee shop btw) and tell him how you feel. If you really love him, don't hold back. Tell him everything and apologize for whatever stupid thing you two fought about.
That simple. :)
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