so my ex is dating this girl. and he has been for months.. but he gives me signs that he "misses" me. well my feelings for him have never completely went away and for the past months he has had his gf, i kept my mouth shut, hoping that my feeling for him would just go away. i tried everything, even new people, and being single, but everything comes back to my ex ): i think in order to feel better about myself and to let it out, i need to tell him.. but i dont know how. me and my ex are extrememly close and can talk to eachother about almost anything but for some reason idk how to tell him this. give me ideas or what i should do about this situation!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? itdependsonyoux3 answered Tuesday February 16 2010, 7:07 pm: ive been on both sides of this equation and i know this might not be what you want to hear, but put yourself in his girlfriends shoes.. how would YOU feel if his ex girlfriend was still wanting him and planning on telling him and maybe getting him back ?
and you probably dont know how to tell him this because in the back of your mind you know that it wouldnt be right to interfere with his relationship [if he is truly happy.] yeah, you might still have feelings for him or you might just want what you cant have. whatever the case, i know how you feel, and it sucks.
i told my ex how i felt, and it worked out in my favor. i didnt mean for it to go anywhere, or for him to eventually break up with his girlfriend, but by telling him that i still cared about him and liked him, he told me how unhappy he was and how much he missed me and how his girlfriend was cheating on him and flirting with his best friends.. and this was his escape, i was basically his way out, yuh know ?
but if you REALLLLLLY are set on telling him how you feel, than just be straight up about it. i learned that beating around the bush basically gets you no where. so just tell him something like, "you know that i trust you and that i feel like i can tell you anything, right? well, i kinda wanted to get something off my chest.." and then he'll be like, okay go for it.. or something hahaa, and then continue and be like, "i still really like you, and ive tried EVERYTHING to stop because you have a girlfriend, but its so hard and i didnt know how to tell you sooner."
just breathe and really consider the pros and cons of telling him. if you tell him how you still feel, will that jeopardize your friendship ? and whatever you do, either do it in person or TALKING on the phone, not texting or anything over the computer, if you have video chat, that would be fine too, but make sure its not written out, thats key.
oh, and you could also ask him before you tell him how you feel if he would change something about the past.. and see if he hints anything about the relationship you guys had. :]
you have a lot to think about girl, and if you need anything else feel free to inbox me, good luck :] sleep on it ! hope i helped, xxo. [ itdependsonyoux3's advice column | Ask itdependsonyoux3 A Question ]
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