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boys and being stupid
Okay. I'm a fourteen year old girl and my boyfriend is sixteen (we'll call himm T). We've been dating for a little over three months. I've been hurt in past relationships... a guy only wanted me because he thought he could bang me. But he's the past. I love my boyfriend now. About two months ago I found out something a little shocking. So he used to date this girl (we'll call her B) and I haaaaate her. She goes to a different school, and even before i knew my bf,i severly disliked this girl. I'm not gonna lie though, since ive been dating T ive disliked her even more. I always have thiss problem of comparing myself with her... it sucks. So when i found out that he had fingered her while they were dating it really upset me. Because T promised me, before we started to date, that we would take things reellay slow. Yeah well here I go being stupid and comparing myself. T is perfect. He said that he regretted doing that with her, and that he doesn't expect anything like that from me, he wants to do only what I'm comfortable with. But I really like him... And I don't want to lose him like I did with that otheer guy. Whatever, no excuse. I let him finger me tonight. And now I just don't know... After he did that things were awesome. I felt happy and good about it, and we cuddled and joked around and it was perfect. Then I left his house and we started texting. He was being short with me, and he said he was just tired. I don't know. I was going to call him but he fell asleep... but I really need to talk to him. Truth is, I regret letting hiim finger me. I wish I hadn't... And this sucks because what if he regrets it too? I don't know. I don't know what to do and I'm really confused and I just feel like crying right now but I love him and I just need some help... And the worst part is, I feel like I can't talk to my friends about it. They wouldn't understand... They'd be shocked that I did somthing like that. I know its wiered but they're such good girls and I was too and maybe I still am but I feel so dirty...
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You aren't dirty. You shouldn't be ashamed of this. It's something normal that most people our age (i'm 16) do. You need to talk to your best friend. Because he/she is going to be the one that understands you the most, and is going to be the one that is there for you through everything, and if they can't accept you for who you are or the mistakes you make, then they aren't good friends anyway. I know you may not want to hear this, but If your boyfriend had been telling you that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, but he already did this to you.. Then he may not care as much as you think he does. He's not perfect. No one is perfect.
Many girls compare themselves to their boyfriend's girl best friends, or ex girlfriends because they are insecure or scared. You don't have anything to worry about. As long as he isn't cheating, or talking to this other girl like he talks to you, then don't stress so much over it. You are who you are, and he obviously likes you because he is going out with you. But I think that you need to call him or talk to him in person about this, and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you aren't really comfortable doing things like this, and see how he takes it. If he doesn't, then he's not the right one for you.
I hope this helps:)
Please feel free to ask me anything further on my page. I'd love to help.
Kaila(:.
This is a reply to your feedback:
Well, talk to your boyfriend first. You don't have to tell your friend if you don't want to.. But if you ever need someone to talk to about all of this, go to them. Make sure it's okay with your boyfriend first. But, you can't let him make every decision for you.
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Hey Hunny, All girlfriends compare themselves to other woman. It's natural. We want to have their hair, clothes, makeup because maybe the boyfriends would like that more.. Truth is..Don't compare yourself okay? I had talked to my friend about this a while back because she was comparing herself as well. If your boyfriend wanted the girl you are comparing yourself (like his ex) he would go for someone like her and he wouldnt have broken up with his girlfriend. But that's not who he wants he want to be with you. Do talk to him about how you feel about what happened between the two of you. You may feel regret because you think that he feels regret. Sometimes things might get a little shy between the two of you if you have done something. If he told you that he will do what makes you comfortable then that is a good thing not all guys will do that they only will think of themselves and not about your feelings. Maybe he is being a little distant because he is thinking of your feelings and he may feel that you need a little time to sink everything in. Call him up and tell him that you want to talk with him and it would make you feel so much better if you were both face to face so you and him and can read each others expressions and hear what is being said in your voice. sometimes it can be difficult with texting/emailing/iming/phone.. I hope I have helped a little bit I have been in your situation so I understand how you feel.. Good luck! You seem like you are really upset and You really do need him right now. even your best friend doesnt understand everything. Ya know.. i find that its sometimes better talking to a random stranger.. weird isn't it? Okay good luck. I hope everything works out. You can talk to me anytime!
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