|
husband and best friend
Hi,
I found your name on advicenators,
I have a very difficult situation and want to remain anonymous please.
I am a 21 year old very devoted Muslim girl. I am married with 1 beautiful girl and a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often.
I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age.
This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice.
My parents sent me and my brothers and sisters to a Quran boarding school for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little. I learned a lot. But the man that trained me had sexual relations with me since I was a little girl. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well. But sadly I had to have two abortions before I was 17 years old. He was the only one I was ever with. His wife was the one who took me to get these procedures to save my family and myself the shame. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. But this is a shameful thing in my past I never told anyone about. I don;t hate him like many say I should. I still respect and honor him. But it did help me understand men and how they function.
This is all in my past.
Now my husband is now my issue. I am a very good friend of one of his girl friends, Fatima and they are very close physically. He does not know that I know about this relationship. My friend confided in me last year that she was pregnant. She is very young and also a strong Muslim. After I pushed and asked, I found out that it was my husband who she did this to.
She is sorry for seducing him. She understands that women have to guard what Allah has made special and she did not. I forgave her and took her to get the abortion. I was re living my life again!!! I was the one who was the comforter now. That is why I told you my past to understand that I am reliving it.
Very ironic huh?
But since then, Fatima and I have become very close friends. After her abortion I was the only one to comfort her. It did cost me a bit of money!! But her relationship with my husband is still on going. I wanted her to stop but she does not want to and I don't want to hurt my husband who I love but taking her from him. I also don't want to lose my friendship with her so I am just quite about it when she tells me they were together. She wants to find a husband too, but now she just wants to finish school. I still tutor her and help her with her classes. I want to be a submissive wife and love my husband. He is after all a very good husband to me. He never yells or hits me, and always buys me flowers and shows me hugs and kisses and puts food on the table. We also have great physical relationship as well--at least I think so. But I am concerned about getting an STD or something. So I bought him condoms, but I am afraid to give them to him when he goes out at night with his friends. I dont know what to do.
If I don't feel judged, i will share about more, but I need advice.
I am confused what to do about this.
Please advise me. Will you judge me?
please reply to jihan.ali@europe.com
Jihan
Anonymous
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Has this resolved? If still ongoing, I would suggest deciding what you can and cannot live with. If the STD thing is a dealbreaker, you must intervene. If, on the otherhand, you can accept this sneaky sex on your hubbys part, then keep quiet and live the best life you can from him. If you feel you have the will, lovingly tell him you know, and that it is ok (if it is with you). This is a tough place. You must read these people and respond accordingly to ensure the safety of yyour child and yourself.
]
More Questions: |