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MAJOR guy problem
I like this one guy. Lets call him Tom. He sits next to me in one of my classes and whenever we talk we like get along. or like if i make a joke he laughs and agrees with what i was saying. I think he's pretty hot (understatement) but I don't know that much about him. I'm scared to just talk to him like being like "whats up" and everything. but we ask each other questions sometimes in the class like about classwork, thats it. I feel pretty shy around him.. like I get self conscious about how I look and about getting up to go to the bathroom during class or something cause i dont want to look awkward or anything. i dont knowwww. hes so nice though. he's one of the nicest people i've ever met. i've never heard him say bad things about people and i think thats amazing.
Like I dont know.. its the first time I've seen a guy that I can actually see myself dating. like sometimes i get crushes on guys.. but oh gosh i have such high standards for the perfect boyfriend that all my previous crushes haven't made the cut of someone i wouldnt mind looking back and knowing they were my first kiss and everything. yet it is still a crush.. i dont know much about him. i added him on facebook and he doesnt go on much and theres not too much info about him other than hes a guitar player in a band (epitome of HOTTT) who actually sounds good for a local band (they usually suck where i live)
but at the same time i feel like i cant pursue anything.. even if i knew how to. im too shy. but anyways, my family is moving to a different state late this month or in february. and we probably don't live near each other.. we're high school sophomores so we can't drive. i dont know when or how i'd be able to hang out with him.. since i dont even know if my parents would approve such a relationship (interracial..). i know my friends would be supportive but i dont know about his friends. he's pretty much everyone's man.. and there was this one guy (calling him Sid) who used to sit infront of me who talked to him occasionally.. idk how close they were.. didnt seem like it much. he seems to be close with this other guy who i know from years ago and is pretty chill. I only met Tom this year and got a crush on him immediately after he sat next to me (haha assigned seats) when we switched seats after the first marking period. but i've always thought he was cute.. but i never really paid attention to his existance since i didnt sit near him or anything before. and he was nice when i first talked to him too but Sid would butt in occasionally and say something and laugh.. trying to make me look bad or something?
anyways, Sid still makes fun of me. he sits at a different point in class (hes one of those cool annoying kids who is like a class clown) but then he'd call my name in the middle of class (when we're doing an activity or nothing at all but theres still talking.. not like in the middle of a lesson) and wave and smile really big.. you know, the big fake smile with open eyes and raised eyebrows. i either respond to it by waving with the same demeanor on my face but showing my dissent or ignore it. ughh i dunno what to do about that one. HELP!
Sid started doing it cause this other guy.. lets call him Logan, began it in the first place. like he is so fcking annoying. gosh. he used to be nice until 7th grade. and then i dont know how but i got a crush on him then and we used to be like friends and talk in class and then he just changed.. i didnt even get why i liked him cause i could never see myself dating a Jack*** like him. anyways, i forget how or why but the word got to him that i liked him that year and he told my friend that he didnt feel the same. anyways idk if he still thinks i like him or something.. like i seriously despise him to bits .hes a jackbutt (gonna say that word instead) like 90% of the time. and in that 10% when hes actually nice im still cautious and expect it to change to his typical self any moment. i dont take him seriously, basically. like he acts like hes this macho or something when everyone sees him as a kid and nobody really likes him too. so he does the same thing as Sid and started it actually. id come into class late and he'd say my name loud and would say it in a fancy way. its really annoying and ive told him to stop but he keeps doing it. hes in several of my classes unfortunately. this one guy noticed (different guy) and he told me to like kick him in the balls or something. haha like i cant actually do those sorts of things. i dont like conflict.. there's no other time i'd be able to talk to him cause its not like im gonna get his cell number or talk to him on facebook. if i said something on facebook he'd probably take it as a joke and think i like him since im taking the time to send him a message.. and then spread it to other kids who will make fun of me and stuff. but i just dont know what to do. like it doesnt affect other people when they do that. are they mocking me? Sid and Logan? i dont know. it definitely seems like it. or are they just trying to get to know me better? I like when people are straightforward. Like Tom. I like Tom a lot. And sometimes actually... it sounds horrible but occasionally I get crushy feelings for Logan. Maybe its cause he talks to me too much. probably. if he stopped talking to me id just forget about him and even though hes a jackbutt most of the time occasionally i think of a 1 night stand. haha would never happen at my age or anything but it just sounds hot for some reason. but at the same time when i truly think about it that is not what i want. i want Tom.. but I cant have him... I dont even know if he likes me . I dont know how to act around him or around Sid and Logan. I want Sid and Logan to stop pestering me.
Advicenators please help me!!! you can tell this has been bothering me for a while cause of the length of this question. i havent been able to talk about it with anybody. i havent been close with any of my friends really lately.. (more like, this entire schoolyear) too busy with schoolwork.. got midterms soon. im not a nerd or anything, i just procrastinate too much and need to get out more. i need better friends.
i hate those times when you just feel like making out with someone. right then. i cant wait to have a bf where its actually possible. but i feel so mixed about it.. cause when i think about it i think about Tom.. how I'd want to kiss him.. with my other crushes when I thought about it it just didnt seem right but blahhh its probably just lust mostly right now since i dont know too much about him. FML FML FML
help, please!!
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oh yeah and i forgot to add that Tom is pretty quiet and doesnt say anything during class unless he's called on or someone's talking to him then he's pretty chill. he seems to be pretty into music and i am too so im hoping to lord we like the same music.. AHH amd at the same time its so tragic.. what if he doesnt like me? and my other issues :(
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