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asthma attacks - leave or not leave?
16/f
i notice that ever time when my boyfriend cries really hard, he ends up getting asthma attack. and i don't mean those regular asthma attacks, i mean he went to the doctor and they said to stay away from whatever makes him cry.. cause nothing can't stop those type of asthma attacks. so basically, he won't breathe until he dies.. and that gets me really nervous. i feel like i'm the one causing it, cause he cries because of me. i feel like i push things too far or something when i'm angry, and i've been trying to control that. but when i'm angry nothing really runs through my mind besides negative things, and it just gets me more upset and i just end up speaking my mind. but he says it's not because of that, just that he always thinks that i don't want to be with him anymore, since ever little thing he does he thinks he gets me upset when i don't. it just gets me nervous, because i know if he stays with me.. he would get an asthma attack, if i don't.. he'll get an asthma attack. what can i do? he told me to stay with him and he'll try to control his crying, cause that's the one thing he will be able to control and that he promises that as long as i'm breathing, he'll breathe. but i still feel like it's partially my fault that it's like this, i don't want to cause anybody's death. i care about his health, and now i'm trying really hard to not push it really far. but either way, i'm stuck in the middle.. because there are sometimes i think that we shouldn't be together, cause sometimes it's not just working out. but i'm worried, asthma attack.. and if i stay... asthma attack. part of me wants to stay cause i do care for him and i still really like him. but part of me wants to leave because i don't wanna feel like i'm causing the pain and sometimes it just gets tiring at times. what should i do?
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It's pretty hard to make a guy cry, in most of my experiences. So, what are you doing to make the poor boy cry? Typical arguements and insecurities shouldn't cause that sort of thing...
Anyway, assuming he's just extremely sensitive, because it's totally possible, you need to think about something RIGHT NOW. That is, do you love this man and will it last forever?
You said that you like him, and that's cool, but when someone you're involved with has some medical thing, you have to decide if you can make the changes and live with what's going on.
For instance, I'm an awful bipolar case. This means lots of crying fits, confusion, random mood swings, suicide attempts, etc. My boyfriend LOVES me, and he's willing to deal with me, filter what comes out of his mouth to avoid triggering me, and holds me during breakdowns, freakouts, medication changes and everything else that comes with it.
Are you willing to put a filter on your mouth so that you don't hurt him and make him cry? Are you willing to keep certain things to yourself, be sure he gets all the medical help he needs if he has an attack and be there for him when he can't breathe?
If you're not committed to this guy, you need to leave him alone. It seems like your words hurt him enough. The risk of a single attack as a result of doing the right thing to leave him, simply because you can't deal with what's going on, is better than risking doing this to him for an extended period of time, isn't it? You two can always still be friends, and maybe, when you're older and more mature, you two could try this dating thing again. There IS always that option, you know. Maybe your tongue will stop slapping him across the face by then. Maybe his asthma will have subdued itself more.
I'd think long and hard about this. If it were me, and I have a tongue sharp enough to cut you before you notice it, I'd leave him for the betterment of his health... and stay his friend.
EDIT
I still think it's weird you make him cry.
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