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i did something stupid. how can i cope with it
16/f
so last weekend, i went to this party with this guy i had been talking to for a couple of weeks. i know it was really dumb to go because i didnt know any of his friends and i barely knew him (he contacted me thru facebook)we had been talking about having sex and stuff like that. i did send him pictures, but he promised he wouldnt show anyone and that he would delete them, he was also getting mad that i didnt trust him. so yes i sent two and thats it. anyways, at this party, to make it short, i was so uncomfortable the entire time and i only knew him. but, he ignored me the entire time and played beer pong with his friends, occasionally coming over to me drunk out of his mind and making me drink more. he is 18 by the way, so was everyone else that was there. by the end of the night, we ended up having sex. but after that, he was being very rude to me the next morning. i realized that there were hickeys on my kneck so i asked him to go to his car to get my makeup bag and coverup, and he responded with, "im fucking sleeping." "holy shit shut the fuck up" "im not getting it. stop asking me." ect. he did not say a word to me after that. even when he dropped me off, he did not even look at me. or say bye. or anything.
basically, i regret this so much. he is the biggest mistake ive ever made in my entire life. heres the reason i actually WENT to the party. a few days before the party, he asked me if all i wanted was a hookup or if i would like him. i said i would probobly like him because i dont like being just a hookup. and he responded with, thank god. thats a relief. because i really didnt just want mindless drunken sex.
^that right there. is the biggest bullshit lie ever heard. but at the time, did i know that? of course not. i mean come on. its a bit hard to tell from that.
well anyways, yesterday my friend sarah who is "friends" with him (she hates him. he just thinks there friends.) she texted him and bitched him out for using me. and now hes trying to make it look like I was the one who started it all. he kept saying, she was the one who sent pictures. ask dave and brian, they saw them.
obviously, he LIED about the pictures too and how he would NEVERRR show anyone. bullshit.
now this is what really got to me. he had been asking for a threesome between me him and brian. i never said yes. he told sarah that i wanted him and brian to double team me. HES TRYING TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED IT ALL. why is he doing this to me! its not fair! and no one is going to believe me! i texted him and bitched him out but he wouldnt listen and he wont admit that he used me. he thinks we just had sex and it happens. NO. the point, you dumb fuck, is that you said you liked me and didnt just want sex. well obviously that was a huge lie.
im so upset. hes probobly telling more people the same shit hes telling sarah. its not fair! hes the one who like forced me to do all that! ugh i hate this. and i cant do anything about it. how can i cope with all of this? its really getting to me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First, you learn from this.
Any guy who's asking you for pictures and says he'll delete them and no one will ever see them is LYING. Period. The kind of guy who's decent enough to delete them isn't going to ask in the first place, even if he would love to see naked pictures of you.
Sweetheart, yeah, you got used. No, you didn't want to be used. Yeah, you wanted him. Defensive "but no he did it all" reactions aren't going to be believed. Instead, if it gets brought up be honest about it. He expressed interest in you, acted like he wanted to date you, and then took you to a party where he ignored you except to get you drunk enough to do something stupid.
Admit that you did something stupid. Regardless of his intentions, you are the one who sat there while he ignored you, you're the one who let him get you drunk, and you're the one who decided that this guy was worth enough of a chance of a relationship to sleep with. You woke up expecting to wake up next to a boyfriend and found out that when a guy treats you like a one night stand, thats exactly what you are.
Men will lie to get sex. Not all men will, but the kind of men who act the way this guy did will lie however they have to. Its easy, a few simple words of promise and you were so over the moon that you ignored every glaring roadsign on the way to the bed with him that night.
Instead of trying to make yourself out to be the victim, talk to people honestly. Tell them he's a lying asshole and that you liked him enough to buy into the shit he told you, and you made a dumb mistake. Also tell everyone how pathetic the sex was and how he couldn't even look you in the eye the next day.
Because he is pathetic. He's a child who lies to get laid.
Learn from this experience. That is more important than anything else, at this point. Whats done is done and if you go around freaking out about it instead of laughing off some pathetic mistake sex you should never have wasted your time on, you're just going to make everything worse for you.
Next time, make a guy actually SHOW you he's decent before you take off your clothes. We've got a big problem with kids your age these days. You've all been way too exposed to sex and sexuality, and think that spreding your legs and putting dick in vagina makes you adults and capable of handling the issues it crops up.
Next time, make a guy wait a few months at least, make him date you and show interest in you outside of Aim conversations he could be having with seven other girls at the same time.
Oh, and the next time you see him, try this out.
"So whats it like to not be able to look a girl you slept with in the eye the next morning? Does it make you feel like a man to have to lie to get laid? Oh by the way your dick is tiny and the sex was fucking boring, if you weren't such a douchebag maybe I would have stuck around long enough that you could have learned at least SOMETHING about making a woman happy"
If he's got a genuinely big dick omit that part of the insult, but if he's under 7 inches call him tiny, and tell everyone else he's tiny. No amount of masculine bullshit is going to make him feel better about a girl he's admitted he's slept with laughing to everyone she knows about how small his dick it.
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