|
head
Dear Triquetra,
I am a young female and I have been dating a 23 year old man who I have know since my late childhood. Not long ago we began a sexual relationship with each other but now I think that we are falling apart. I am afraid that I cannot make him happy anymore which upsets me a lot. The last time I tried to get close to him he got angry and hit me, and kept making me feel uncomfortable. Have you ever had experience with this or can you help me to enjoy our sexual relationship more.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sorry for the late reply.
After reading your letter, I'm concerned about how he is treating you, cause hitting you isn't right at all. That can be classified as physical abuse and he can go to prison for that!
I'm assuming that he became this way after the sexual relationship began. I can't really offer any advice on that front cause that's a private thing between the two of you, but was his behaviour noticeable after it began or did it just grow over time? Sorry to be like this, but it may help me to give a better answer.
Now, you didn't mention your age which is perfectly fine, but to mention your boyfriends age tells me that there may be a noticeable age difference between the two of you? Could that be a small contribution to his behaviour? I say this because if he is older and is sleeping with somebody younger, that may be causing some problems for him morally and therefore, could lead to him acting this way. This is just speculation on your age, if it isn't relevant, ignore the above.
I want to ask you a question: are you happy? Now, most people would think that a stupid question but I really want you to think about that answer. He has hit you, and driven you away when you get close. Your not enjoying your sexual relationship from what I can tell (I'm dodging your real question for reasons I'll explain later) and there may be an age difference between the tow of you. I'm not questioning your feelings for him, but in reality, are YOU happy? If you are, great! If not, then you need to tell me.
Now, why did I just write all that and not answer your question about how to make your sex life more enjoyable? Well, it is simple really: I could give you website links which would give you advice on that sort of thing, but it doesn't mean it will make it any better. The fact is, is that if your personal relationship with the guy is fraying, then your sex life won't get better, no matter what links I give you. So, you need to fix your relationship with him first, before working on your sex life.
I think the easiest way to get things out on the table and sort them out would be to talk to him about it and see what he says. Talk, listen, emphasize and compromise. Those are the things which help a relationship progress. If one stops listening, then the whole thing will begin to fall. See how he feels or what is going through his mind and then try and help him out in some way. If you do love him, then you'll do this and get this relationship back on its feet.
I hope this helped and once again, sorry for the late reply,
triquetra
]
More Questions: |