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humorist-workshop
he may have feelings, but i dont
i am a girl. i have been in the same classes with this one guy for about 6 years. around 3 years ago, we started to talk and hang out together. rumors started, but then they kind of went away after everyone realized that nothing was going on and high school started. this kid follows me constantly and never stops talking. the rumors are starting back up again, and its getting annoying. i dont know if this kid likes me as more than a friend, but i just like him as a friend. how do i let everyone know this (including him without hurting his feelings) and get the rumors and jokes to stop? please help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Blunt honesty.
Welcome to your first "Nice Guy". The "Nice Guy" is a guy who makes friends with a girl hoping she'll develop the feelings he already has for her.
The Nice Guy is usually a bit of a doormat. Probably shy, definitely socially awkward. He is too scared and too inexperienced to flirt or present himself in an attractive light, and usually tries to hide all signs of his feelings from the object of his affections.
Its possible that if he had the confidence, maybe interest would have developed on your end. But because of the way he is, and the way he acts, it didn't. More than likely, he watches the guys you are interested in with resentment. He sits there and thinks "I'd be so much better for her" and "I'd treat her so much better". Which is bullshit, because he's probably never had a date in his life and he has no idea how he'd deal with a relationship, but its what he can tell himself to live in denial and pretend that he's your perfect match.
The other bad side is that he doesn't know shit about you. His one sided love affair means he's put you on a pedestal, he sees what he can of your good points and ignores your bad, treating you pretty much like an object rather than a person. Its not rational, and you can't reason with it.
When a guy follows you around like a lost puppy, he's doing what this guy did. The only real solution is to shut him down. Shut him up and tell him point blank that you aren't attracted to him, and that while you're fine with being his friend, you aren't fine with being followed everywhere. If he denies it, claims to just be your friend, look him straight in the eye and tell him you know he's lying, and that he needs to leave you alone for a while. Tell him he needs to stop talking to you until you come back and talk to him, and tell him you aren't sure you're going to be willing to do that.
Also tell him that you won't be able to be his friend unless he stops chasing you and starts being interested in someone else. Tell him that his attraction is whats causing an issue, and that he can control it or you can't be around him anymore.
Its probably not possible, its probable that you'll have to hurt his feelings to get him to stop. But the alternative is to deal with this until he gets tired of it or explodes on you about how you don't appreciate everything he does for you and you're an idiot for not appreciating what was right in front of you.
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