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Is my gf lying to me, or does she prefer more?
I am experiencing recent problems with my girl friend, Katherine, of 2 years, who otherwise was in a very good, happy relationship with me. About two weeks ago, I went to her apartment after a short shift at work to take her to dinner and I found a man by the name of Anthony there. He is a friend of her good friend Andrea. At first it looked like he was just on the couch but as I walked by the window to her door, I looked in and noticed she was sucking him off. I instantly confronted her and all but attacked him. When I tried to ask her questions she was too distraught to answer, angering me, so I left.
I ignored her for about a week until finally agreeing to let her explain herself. She told me that she had no feelings for him, that it was just physical. She said that she still loved me and would do anything to get me back. And of course she apologized about 1000 times, between tears. I also made her confess everything they did. (Apparently this was the first time. He went to drop off an item from Andrea and stayed a little too long. They ended up fucking, but having no condom he didn't want to finish in her so she sucked him off. That's when I showed up.)
Although I was suspicious of her not having "any" feelings for him, I have always believed that people can make ONE mistake. If it happens again after that, it's not a mistake. However, in order for anything to work, she needs to be completely honest with me, including/starting with her reasons for cheating. I felt I needed to know that in order to prevent such incident in the future.
Well, after asking her a few times, I started getting annoyed. She kept hesitating, and answering vaguely that it was "just physical" and that she was "tempted in the moment." But finally after I showed my annoyance and pressed her further she broke down and admitted that she was tempted because Andrea had expressed "he was big." This of course made me mad again, because I couldn't believe that was the only reason. I have never actually heard a woman admit she was attracted to only penis size. So I told her I would reconsider but that is where I left it.
I decided to go to her friend Andrea to judge whether she was telling the truth; whether she in fact could be just attracted to his size. To Katherine's defense, when I walked in on them, I did notice Anthony's size. Based on what she told me, and what I saw, he was probably well over 8 inches long, and proportionally thick. Of course I didn't stare. But I had always been told by women that size isn't an issue for them, so I wanted to see if maybe Katherine had told Andrea a differently story she had told me.
As soon as I started talking with Andrea, it was clear to me that Katherine has talked to her about the penis issue. Although Katherine never told me I was small or not enough, Andrea instantly knew that my penis size was about 3.25 inches, which means that Katherine must have told her. And even though Katherine viewed this as a mistake and promised never to do it again, Andrea all but blamed this on my penis size saying that Katherine deserves to f**k someone bigger, after being under satisfied for 2 years.
Do you think that my girl friend Katherine is thinking the same thing? Or is this strictly only her friend's view, as Andrea claims?
Do you think it is possible that Katherine cheated on me just because of penis size? Or do you think she is trying to hide certain feelings she has for him?
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Thanks for the question.
Firstly, I'm sorry for what happened and what you've had to go through. I can only imagine how upset and angry you must feel.
There's a problem though - I am not Katherine and can't tell you how she feels deep down. What I can tell you though is my gut instinct and opinion. Since this is only MY opinion, I don't want you to just take my word, I want you to follow your heart at the end of it all, but I'll give you a few things to think about.
You say Andrea spoke to Katherine about Anthony's penis size, which is fair enough, curiosity and gossip might have got the better of them, but since Andrea knows your penis size, it's obvious they have been talking about you, and possibly comparing your size to Anthony's and/or how your sex life is going with Katherine.. leading Katherine to be more curious about what it would be like to have sex etc with a bigger man.
Whilst this is definitely NOT acceptable, it's probably what happened.
I can't tell you if Katherine has feelings for him - although I think the whole "it was just physical" is bullshit. In my eyes, you have to be attracted to someone and have some feelings before indulging in the sexual side of things - but hey, that's just me.
If I were you, I'd seriously reconsider the relationship. You guys can either work incredibly hard to build the trust back.. or you'll be living in fear of curiosity getting the better of her again and making you feel like you can't satisfy her.
Follow your heart, but don't be a fool.
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