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Should I expose a cheater?
When I met him he was basically a prostitute. He was willing to sell himself to anyone for 50 dollars. I watched him do it. Later I convinced him that this was wrong and that he should not do that. I think he still does from time to time. He thought I was rich so he didn't try to charge me. Instead made me feel like I was important. He even moved in with me and became my best friend and secret lover. I guess with time he lost all hope of getting money out of me. Then one day he just up and left. Moved in with someone else. Told me it was platonic, but I soon learned that he was lying. He played a crazy game of roller coaster with me as all good players do. Kept seeing me the whole time he lived with this other person. He would even make plans for the two of us to travel together. Once he offered to pretend we were on our gay honey moon if I would buy us a vacation to Hawaii. He said often that he always wanted me to be there for him. Some of it was real. I mean he no longer thought I was rich. So he does care about me. I know that. But not as much as I care about him. When I met him I picked him up, brushed him off, and got him off to a better start in life. And he wanted to repay me. The thing is he has always lead a double life. The kind of double life that many gay or bisexual men have lead throughout history. Not being aloud to be with the person of their choice because society will shame them. So they hook up with someone more acceptable to society and then forget that they are living a lie. He will never change. So my question is...Do I tell this person that he has been "cheating" on them with me for their entire relationship? Or do I just walk away and let the chips fall where they may?
Everyone in this discussion is over 18 years of age.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Put the thing down and walk away slowly. If you want any chance of seeing this guy again DO NOT EXPOSE him as your SECRET LOVER. He will grow tired of living the LIE. You'll find another. Maybe he'll come back to you. Haven't you ever seen "Torch Song Trilogy" with Harvey Fierstein? You're trying to play this out like "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" with Elizabeth Taylor.
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It seems like you might want to tell the person that he has been "cheating" on them with you for the entire relationship because you want payback right? after all, you have done so much for this guy, and this is how he repaid you. That is really messed up, but I think that telling the person would be too much cuz it's their relationship. Let the person find out for themselves. it might be a good idea to just keep your distance like you have, that way you don't get caught up in all the drama. And who knows, sometimes when people try to tell others about their cheating boyfriends, they choose not to believe it. They think that there is something wrong with the person telling them about the cheating. Or maybe jealousy, or trying to steal their guy. But the thing is, you are not the one responsible for his mistakes. He should be man enough to know what the right thing to do is. The truth usually always comes out at some point somehow anyway. So i think that you should just forget about it all because its really not worth all the drama. At least you are out of it, the rest is left to him to figure out.
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Thats really up to you but, I would just move on with my life and let that person learn like you did. Sometimes we dig holes in others yard but, we end up digging to far, and we tend to fall in. You were in the wrong as well because you were still seeing him why he was with the other person as well. So now you may feel scorned so you want to get revenge on him by telling his lover. Hey maybe I'm wrong, or right. But it's not our job to hand out karma. You shouldn't have started dating a male hooker anyway, have you every heard of the saying you can't turn a trick into a treat. Or have you read the passage in the bible about the man who married the prostitute. And gave her everything, but still she continued to sleep with other men. Mentally something is wrong with his head, and by helping him it's useless. No matter what you or the other person do he is going to continue to be a player. And my advice is for you to move on. I know my words sounds easy and the process of moving on is hard. But if you take it a step at a time and day by day it will happen. I been threw my share of messed up relationships so I know it sucks... The best of luck to you
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