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is it the right decision?
19/female. virgin.
so i read one of your answers about sex. you told someone to think about all different things before someone has sex. i started to read what you had said and started to smile, because the guy ive been wanting to have sex with is someone who you described. hes the only guy ive EVER trusted. hes the only guy ive ever felt comfortable around. he never has and i know he never will hurt me. he respects me and my decisions. hes always there for me. i know everything about his past, and he has only had sex with one other girl and that was his ex girlfriend. i know this is true too. the only reason i'm doubting is because we aren't dating right now, and i dont know if we will ever be in a relationship. we're not friends with benefits, but he was hurt in the past from his ex girlfriend of 3 years and doesnt want a relationship right now, and i dont want a boyfriend either. we've talked about it before, and i was like... i'm scared :( and he was like.. you have no reason to be scared. i dont get embarassed talking about things like that with him. and next year he will be going to a college to play hockey for a D1 school, meaning that i most likely wont see him much because he will be so busy. im having all these feelings. hes the only guy ive ever thought about doing this with. i dont let guys into my life because i have been hurt and ive known him for about 5 years now and hes the only boy ive ever let into my life. urghh..
what to dooo:\
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As you probably read from some of my previous thoughts...its wonderful to be a virgin its one of the best experiences you can have and feel..and when the time comes to deciding if you are ready to take the step into allowing body to accept a new and permanent change well its not that difficult but it feels oh so tough to decide.. the best opinion i can offer you is to analyze your thought and your feelings.its great to talk about sex believe it or not but its also very important to put a limit on how much info at one time you should intake i think its important to go slow because you dont learn to walk from one day to another just like you never learn to ride a bike in minute and you dont learn not even to play a video game at one moment it takes time right? so by taking your time even if its in a time sensitive situation its better to say hey i know i can always have sex tomorrow. the problem is after having sex and you all of a sudden think wait i should have done this in a diffrent way...in other words once you take the step and you live that moment you cannot remake it you can try to erase it but you and i know that you will only be trying to erase what happend. i personally think that if you do not have sex youll do great and yes even if you do have sex you will be fine i dont see you loosing value, we sometimes need to take a step forward to reach our maturity. I dont advice you to have sex yet..even though he might not be pressuring you to have sex i dont think you should either if its not important and a big deal to him then be very glad that you have an incredibly rare special someone who really is just interested in loving you and will be wishing you the most concentrated amount of love..if he tells you look we dont need to have sex even though i love you with all of heart with every pure good intentions i have ever felt in my life. i will not take this special moment from you or me because if i know that i am not going to be with you forever then im taking a special moment away from my best friend i dont know him but i call him my best friend because he will make you happy and i will owe him my life if he does and the only thing i can offer him is a good example of my actions so that he may follow and for you to see that there is still dignity and honor in this world...
i know you might think .. what are you talking about there isnt a guy that way...
I had the priveledge is seeing this in my life and i give all of my respect to this person for doing this i never regret this person from doing this i will forever see him in a very high honor. let me say this to you also a scary part of sex...it can be addictive once you have felt it the first time you dont enjoy it as you think you should you sometimes feel like ok was that it? it may very well hurt or not, youll still be left confused and youll wonder still did i do the right thing? and then you will wonder let try again and see what happens then the secon time you say hhmmm interesting lets see a third and then you go its starting to feel better and good and then you can have a problem.
the sad part that can happen is he goes away you both move on then when you least expect it you meet someone and he is pure at heart and then it haunts you. never think you have nothing to loose always think about the future, he has had sex and he would like to feel it again he might feel inside that you are special which is why he hasnt tried anything yet but he still want to feel sex again and i know youthink he isnt a random guy but if he leaves wouldnt that make him a random guy? yes true you knew him but you didnt get to know him..in other words you never finished learning who he really is. I think you woul really like it if you both stayed together for a long time, even yes even maybe get married? if you said yes then i think it wouldnt be a right step for you because you seem to be a loyal, commited, loving patient,caring, intellegent, respossible, and loving girl who deserves to be happy and not having that person in a long term relationship would heart break you. You would always feel like hes gone and he took that part of me that i gave from him rather than I knew him my first true love at a young age and I have great memories of him that i will always rememeber for being my first true love that i experience a clean relationship. ...i guess what im trying to tell you is that i wouldnt want you to feel sad when he is gone because he will be gone but you will be left with that emptiness not only emotional but now also physically. never doubt in believeing that there may be someone waiting for you to make you happy even if its not with this guy, if you are not meant to be together and he is meant for someone else and he falls for her and moves one how will you feel of shes a virgin and she waited for him and he gets to relive and enjoy that moment again and you meet someone else and he has never given his virginity to anyone then how will you feel? what will you feel that you have to offer him? the memory of your ex?..i am sorry i do not want you to feel bad beacuase im not trying to make you feel bad really im not even though i dont know you i do care..thats why im giving you my opinion..i really hope this helps and feel free to ask.
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