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My friends is SO agravating!
UGH! Ok, so one of my best friends and I just got into a HUGE fight. Like, I have never ever ever told her to fuck off and leave me alone. Basically, she was with this guy last christmas for like a month. She broke it off with him because she thought it was really awkward and wasn't working out. Then for about 5 months, she realized she "still loved him" and was like a pathetic little puppy following him around and always begging him to take her back. During these 5 months, he dragged her through hell and back, dating other girls while claiming he liked her, claiming he liked her but "wasn't sure if he wanted to date her". He was like waving hope in front of her face and everytime she was almost happy, he'd snatch it away. It was terrible because I had to hear about it basically every freakin day :/ So, now they're back together even after all the crap he's put her through, and they're just SO strange. She claims that they're "in love" and they're planning all this stuff about their "future together" and stuff :/ keep in mind, we're only sophmores in highschool... I know some highschool couples make it, but they are both just SO incredibly immature. Well, recently, another of our guy friends started to like her. She keeps telling me this over and over and I said "well that's ok, as long as you don't like him back because you're "in love"". She just gave me this blank stare and said "well I kinda like him...only a little..." I was like what?! You can't just be flirting with other guys when you claim to be "so in love" with your boyfriend...So yeah, fast forward to the fight :/ We were texting about how she got really mad at him because she said "bye" just joking around, and he said "bye" seriously and didn't stop her from leaving (yeah, I know :/ really stupid) so, trying to be a caring friend, I brought up a question... all I said is "Hey, are you absolutely sure you love this guy?" and she was like "Yes. Don't ever question that again" so I tried to justify why I asked that and she goes off about how "everyone is always judging her" and how "a real friend wouldn't have asked that" and stuff like that :/ So I kindof got really mad because, in my opinion, she is just really really really far into denial. I mean, I know I cant really feel what she's feeling, but I am not completely clueless. I've been through a lot of my own personal problems, and I have this deep gut-wrenching feeling that she is going to get REALLY hurt. Anyways, I told her I thought she's in denial about something and she's just being stubborn because she NEVER listens to ANY of my advice, even though I am almost always right about it! And then she said "Well maybe I'll just break up with him because you want me too. Will that make you happy?" and I'm just like "I NEVER said you should dump him! I didn't even say anything remotely close to that! Why are you trying to blame it on me?!" then she starts bringing up all this really really emotionally painful stuff that is very hard for me to talk about and is actually none of her business because she won't ever understand the stuff I went through. At that point, I just told her to "Back the F*** off and leave me the hell alone because you are in absolutely NO position to bring up that particular memory." So yeah, I got her to stop talking to me. I seriously am shaking because I am so angry. If she were here, I probably would have punched her in the face a LONG time ago. I really regret even bringing it up, but I honestly didn't know she would freak out that much about it. I just don't know what to do. Any advice is helpfull. I'm going to guess that some of you will say it's partly my fault, so just give me your honest opinion and help me get through this :( thanks...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
A fake friend wouldn't tell you anything.A fake friend would just run with anything. You are the TRUE friend that is trying to tell her she's missing up. If she is the friend you know she is she'll relize that but if not maybe you guys can work it out another way. Don't try to lose a bestfriend in this process, but it might be beneficial to you to cool off for a few days. The worst thing to do is to talk to her while your still hot headed. I wish you the best of luck!
Lillian
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I'm in the same situtaion as you!. but i can't help that much, but this collumnist can possibly give you a idea of what to say to your best friend. copy this question and send it to her
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
PS: sorry this is happenning to you. try not to lose a best friend over it, but if she pushes you away, then maybe she isn't the best friend for you!
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I am not going to blame you for the fight you had with your friend. Actually, I'm going to mostly take you side.
I think that you didn't do anything wrong, but try to help you friend. When your friend said "a real friend wouldn't have asked that" I think she was wrong. A real friend would have asked that and a true friend would have answered honestly. I think she is just as confused as you think she is. I think she is trying to sort out her feelings and thinks that people are judging her, when they really aren't.
I think that after you calm down, call her. Ask her to just listen to you before she starts talking. Talk to her about how you aren't judging her, about how you never judge her. Tell her that as a friend you want what's best for her and want her to be happy. Tell her that she should make her decisions on what she wants to do next. That you don't care if she breaks up with the guy or not. Also apologize for telling her to back off and leave her alone. Then listen to what she has to say.
I know you might object to her being with the guy because you don't want her to get hurt,but sometimes people need to get hurt. I guess it's how you learn lessons, through disappointment. Just try to make up and don't give her advice when she doens't want it. I know you want to help, but let her figure soemthings out on her own.
Best of luck with this :)
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