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I keep coming back to him, and it hurts to let go
I'm 15 and female. I dated someone last year, who is two years older than I. We've been good friends for years, but ever since he lost his virginity, he's become a serious flirt. I've had different boyfriends since our breakup last year but he just keeps coming back. My problem now, is that he wants me to "get with him." Just like any teenage girl, I'm not sure if that means he just wants sex or if he sincerely likes me. He means a lot to me as a friend, and we went pretty far before, but I couldn't actually have sex with him. Should I let him get close? Or should he hit the road?
P.S. I'm still a virgin
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Hi Dear,
I am glad that you wrote to ask for my advice. Well once your friend lost his virginity, he found out how great sex is and wants more of it. This is normal behavior for a young man. This are urges that he has little control over, or chooses not to have any control over, since obviously some young men do control their urges. He is not interested in being "in love" or in a long term committed relationship. Most young ladies are interested in love and being with someone who thinks they are special and not just someone they want to have sex with. Unfortunately young men don't think about being in a comitted relationship until they are well into their 20's. Of course there are always exceptions to this rule.
You are smart to be cautious and keep him as just a friend.
Today it would be silly to think that you will marry the person that you loose your virginity to, but I know you will regret it if you loose your virginity to someone who is not in love with you and committed to you. And no you can't tell by their words because some boys will say anything to get you in bed. You can tell by their actions. If he treats you special, makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world to him, and goes out of his way for you, puts your feelings and desires ahead of his own, then that is love. But remember ACTIONS, not words. Keep this boy as a friend only, and wait for the right boy to come along. You'll know it when it happens.
And you can save yourself a LOT of heartache.
Hope this helps
- Michele
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