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Am I Doing What's Right?
[I apologize if in wrong category]
I have been dating this guy for nearly a month. We really love each other, and feel we're right for each other. I know it's too soon to tell (some may say), but it's like we suddenly connected our first date.
Now he wants to get an apartment, and asked me to live with him. I thought I could get some money in, and help out. He wants to get it around the fall, giving me time to save up some money [from my job].
I know it's a quick move, but this is why I really wanna move out: My parents abuse me, they yell at me, blame me for everything, and put me down. I am tired of babysitting my alcoholic mom until 5 am while my dad is working the graveyard shift at a lame job (because he got laid off from his real job). I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16, when I felt I had it since I was 12. Being here, at home, is dreadful. I am always feeling sad, depressed, and sometimes suicidal. Because I try to make my parents proud, but I feel as if I am not good enough.
I can't stay up late [for my mom] when I have work, I can't do it when I have school, because I attend college as well. He [boyfriend] even will help me with my loans, and we agreed to help each other out. Finances are no big deal because we have decent jobs to get a small apartment.
I really want to move in with my boyfriend, because he makes me happy, and I feel no need to take my antidepressants (When I know I have to regardless so I still do). I am loving life now, and cherishing all the small things. But the second I get in the door at home, hell arises.
You think I should move in with him? Or stay at home? I hope you'd agree with my choice, but I'd like everyone's opinion.
Thanks
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girl dont move out from your family.cause that boy maybe just telling you he love you and when you move out he will leave you.that is what i think.
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EDIT:
There are two comments I'd like to make in regards to your feedback:
First, if you didn't want to hear someone say it was a bad idea, please, in the future mention that. I wouldn't bothered to answer if I knew you weren't actually interested in advice that disagreed with your choice. I don't go out of my way to offend. In the vast majority of cases, I give what I feel is requested.
Secondly, and far more importantly: You didn't mention getting beaten in your question. If you are suffering physical abuse. Call the cops, and connect with a woman's shelter. PLEASE. They are SOOOOOOO much better equiped to help you, and give you guidance then anyone here (or your boyfriend) is. Even if you do move in with him, PLEASE find a resource, a group for abused children or women, some support as a child of an alcoholic like Al-Anon.
You are suffering. Of course you want that suffering to stop. You should.
Just because I don't think you should do that by moving in with someone you've only just begun to see, doesn't mean I want you keep on suffering!
There are so many roads available to you. They are difficult, but they are there. Please don't think just because this is the first guy who offered you a way out, that it's the best offer out there for you. It's probably not.
/EDIT
Nearly a month is too early to decide move in with a partner.
After less then a month, your brain is still on fire with fantastic 'new love' feelings. Those fade. The first month of knowing someone isn't a good time to even plan to go on a vacation togeather in month three. It's not just sensible to wait, it's the best thing for the health of the relationship.
It will still be too early in the fall. It would be too early if you were 40 years old. It would be too early even if you had been good friends for 10 years already.
I'm sorry. There really isn't much else to say. Living with him might work out. You might be amazingly happy together and live together the rest of your lives. But that would be pure dumb luck! After less then a month it's just not likely that such a plan wouldn't end in disaster and it's already huge risk moving in with a boyfriend, even if you've dated for ages.
By ALL means look for another roommate. A friend or somewhere else to stay.
If you need to get out of where you are, do it in a safe, and serious way. Shacking up with your boyfriend of less then a month is neither safe nor seriously thought out. It's a tremendous risk that will justifiably scare everyone around you AND it puts a whole bunch of pressure on your young relationship.
For your own sake, for his, and for the future of this relationship PLEASE find another way to leave home.
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