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being BOLD!
okay so i get really self-conscious with a guy i like. i'm 19 years old and lets just give a situation here:
i could moon or flash a stranger but i could NEVER do that to a guy i liked. it's happened before, it even happened last night. it was me, my cousin and the guy i like. my cousin is a guy also and me and him were like fighting and so i pulled down my pants and like mooned him to make him mad and he was like awh SICK! because he's my cousin haha and then the guy i like was like, do it again! i didnt seeeee. and then i was like all shy and i was like "nooo!" and my cousin was like she's too scared to, she never will do stuff like that. and it was sort of embarassing.
i'm just not comfortable being sexual at all even though i want to be! i don't know how to overcome it. i feel like the guy will just judge my body, even though i'm skinny and a pretty girl but that doesnt help me!
agh, any suggestions? i just want to be that wild girl who loves to have fun. and i can be sometimes! but never with the guys i like.
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Okay I think I should answer this question because the scenario sounds just a tad similar...
I used to have many insecurities with my body and still do, I always found it easier to just show body parts to strangers and flash them or sunbathe uncovered but whenever my boyfriend came near me, or someone I liked, I'd always get really really shy and want to cover up because I'd feel like he was examining me for flaws...
With strangers its different, its easy to be fine and confidant when observed from afar...I'm guessing you haven't had any previous relationships? That would explain why your not comfortable with the sexual at all but don't worry. You can start getting more comfortable with guys you like, for instance I know I have a nice body and there's no real need to cover up, but if there's the possibility of a guy I like finding a flaw with me I keep hidden because when you like someone you don't want to do anything that could jeopardise what they may think of you physically.
I know how you feel. The important thing to do is remember that the guy will most probably already like you and his opinion of you will be affected more negatively if he thinks you are one of those obsessive girls when he probably sees nothing wrong with your body. Try to think, are there any actual flaws or reasons you're paranoid about not being comfortable? Probably nothing that can't be fixed...
The next step is to do the hard thing and take a risk. You know the guy isn't going to revolt back in horror if you moon him so you've really got nothing to worry about. Im not trying to force you to do something you're not comfortable with but if your anything like me you'll want to do it..
At first it might feel really really awkward but don't worry! Just give that extra confidence a go once and you won't regret it =]. Once you start being more open it will come naturally.
And I have to say this or all the self righteous feminists will gang up on me -- remember that your body is yours and sacred and that no one can force you to do anything you don't want to do with it. So hopefully I won't have to ever clean my room again...
Don't be to hard on yourself =] Just try to understand whats holding you back from relaxing and if there's no real reason... you have to just take the plunge once in a while and do the daring thing. That is after all, why it is the daring thing...
Hope to have helped :)
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