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Hey


Question Posted Thursday July 16 2009, 8:58 am

Yeah I know it’s been real crazy. My new shift at work has its good and bad. The good being that I am shift supervisor and can pretty much do whatever I want, and also it’s much more laid back. I get a lot of stuff done when I’m not at work because I can really function on less sleep for some reason. Also I get to go to the gym before work instead of after which I prefer to do because I hate going after a full day’s work, and it’s hard to do that when you have to be a work a 6. The bad is that I don’t get to see my daughter as much because she can’t spend the night. It’s been real crazy on all the shit I’ve been going through. We’ve both been pretty civil through all of this. I haven’t really talked to her though except for a few times through text and the last time I went to visit my daughter we hardly said two words to each other. I don’t really remember the last thing I told you so I will just start telling you some stuff.

Her mom came and spent a week with her to help her settle in to her apartment. I know her mom hates this and is praying for us to get back together, but I also know her mom doesn’t have the balls to tell her that. I talked to her mom while she was here and I she didn’t really even know the whole story. She didn’t know that she was in love with the other guy and doesn’t think that they are seeing each other, even though I know that they are. Jenni is telling everyone that the break-up was mutual. She’s only told like 2 people the whole story. I know that she is only doing that because she is scared that everyone will hate her. I also know that while her mom was here that they didn’t even talk about it. They are both the same in regards that they put on an act that everything is fine. After her mom left I noticed a small change in her. I don’t know, maybe it’s finally kicking in that she is alone. I really don’t know though. I’ve been trying my hardest to keep busy, and I’ve been doing ok. My biggest problem is that I just want to be happy again. If I see her with another man it’s going to be difficult no matter what, but if I’m still alone then it’s going to be even harder. I know it sounds bad, but I don’t want her to be happy. She wants so badly for us to be friends. She told me that she hopes that we can get to a point one day where we could all go out to dinner one night, or if she has a B-Day party for our daughter, that I would come. She even bought me a birthday present last week. What’s that about? She actually was even getting mad when I wasn’t returning her texts and emails. What do you think about that? She says that she wants us to be friends for our daughter’s sake. My parents divorced when I was like 2 under almost the exact same circumstances. They never once hung out together, and I turned out fine and have always had a great relationship with both my parents, so I don’t buy into it. There is no way in hell that I can picture myself being “Just Friends” with her. Not after all of this. I’m not sure if I already told you this but I talked with her and she told me that she had been having problems in our marriage for a long time. I asked her what it was that I did wrong, and she said “I don’t want to hurt your feelings anymore by telling you all of the things you did wrong.” She makes it sound like I was this horrible husband. I know I wasn’t but I had no idea she was that unhappy. She never even gave me a chance to fix the things I did wrong. She has already had her “Closure” but I haven’t yet and it’s making it much harder on me. Everyone we know is in utter shock and disbelief because they thought we had a perfect marriage. And I’m in the same state of shock because I thought of our marriage the same way everyone else did. Perfect. I know now that she didn’t think it was perfect. She told me that she always acted like it was perfect because she wanted to show people that it was possible. I only wish I would’ve known that. What do you think about all of that?

On a different note, how are things going for you? I know last time you said everything had gotten much better. I hope it’s stayed that way


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foxylady answered Monday July 20 2009, 3:00 pm:
Well, what I think? I think that your wife really misses you. Like you said, she tends to make it seem like everything is ok, but actually it may not be the way it looks. She may want you to think that life is fine without you, and therefore try her hardest to make it look like life is a box of chocolates for her right now, when in fact she may be wanting you back. I say this because of her actions. The buying of the gift and her getting upset when you didn't respond to her text. This is a sign that she still has feelings for you. And also the fact that you want to see her unhappy and hurt also shows that deep down you still have feelings for her. I know that you haven't have closure as yet and I honestly think that you don't want closure. I think what you really want is your wife back, but you just resent her for all that has happened. Can you honestly say that you do not want your wife back in your life? My gut is usually right and it is telling me that you cannot honestly say that. I don't know you that well, but I know you enough to know that you deeply and truely love your wife and want your marriage to work. Am I correct? I know that there are many questions running through your mind, will you too ever get back together again? are you ever going to forgive her for what she has done? If you do get back together, will you ever look at her the same? Does she even want you back? Tell me the honest truth, what is it that you honestly want? Do you want to move on with someone else, or do you want to be with your wife, provided that some changes are made? I know that you are still hurting and this is probally the hardest thing that you have ever had to deal with in your life, but I do hope that things get better real soon. Reply.

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