|
so there's this guy...
Ok, so this guy, we became friends this past year. He got my phone number and continuously texted me. Like, all the time. If I didn't answer within 2 minutes he'd text again asking why I wasn't replying. So yeah, back then I didn't really talk to him that often because we didn't have classes together, we never saw each other, I just didn't think we had anything in common. Well, one day I actually replied and we were talking for a while when another friend of mine invited me to go to a movie with her. So I guess I mentioned that I was going to the movies with him, because he was like "Oh can I come?" so I said "sure, why not". So he came and we all hung out and it was really fun. So, I decided he was pretty cool because he could hold a conversation with me (something I'm not good at) so I continued to talk to him, even to this day. Well, as we got closer, he began talking more and more...sexual. He was like asking for pics and asking for phone sex and stuff. Of course, that can only be expected from teenage dudes, and I already knew that. I wasn't naive enough to think he wouldn't want anything... but I told him no anyway, and we just remained friends. However, lately, he's been more like "wow you're amazing, you're perfect" and he asked me what I want from him and I said I didn't know. So he told me what he wanted from me was "heart" and that he'd give anything to have me and he'd die if I ever stopped talking to him. Back to my question, do you think this could just be another way to kind of "sucker" me into doing sexual things with him? Or could he really mean it? I just don't really know...we're going to the movies in a week and I don't know what to do if he tries anything... thanks in advance :) I rate good answers
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I don't think anyone can "sucker" you into having sex with them, but I did get a bad vibe off of reading your description. Did you ever see that commercial where the girl is hanging around all day and there's this guy in this big cell phone suit who is following her around, texting her about random stuff every two seconds?
He just keeps texting her about random stuff, she can't talk to her friends because he keeps interrupting, she can't even go to the bathroom. At the end of the commercial it says, "When does caring become control?'or something to that effect. Well, that's the vibe I get from this kid.
He is already giving you guilt trips. He's telling you he would die if you stopped talking to him. He's inviting himself out when you're trying to hang out with your girl.
If I were you, I would get myself as far away from this guy as possible. I know it gives you an ego boost that he likes you so much, but he will end up being controlling and emotionally abusive. You are getting the ego boost now, but I promise you, your self-esteem will go right down the toilet if you get involved with him.
You're a little shy, and this guy is making it so easy for you, chasing you and everything, but whenever anyone tells you they would die if you stopped contact with them it is a HUGE red flag. This relationship will end up in nothing but guilt trips. I just don't want you to have to learn things the hard way.
Another HUGE red flag, he contacts you and when you don't get back right away, he calls right back. YUCK! I really have a bad feeling about this guy, and I know a LOT about guys. It was my job for more than ten years to talk to guys and I got to the point where I can spot a good one or a bad one from a mile away.
I would be willing to bet that this boy's family is whacked, and his mother has been treated badly by the men in her life. You may have talked to him about it, and that's one of the things that impresses you, how protective he is of his mother. How he wants to be so different than his mother's partners. He loves her sooo much. But here's the thing-he's really angry at her, too.
He will take everything and use it against you. Like if you were to send him sexual pics, later on he will make you feel like you are a slut for it, and he might even threated to show them to other people if you cut off contact.
Call him and tell him that you and your friend are going to have a girls night. Your friend invited you in the first place, so if you were to say, "I told her you were going to come, but she kind of didn't want to be the third wheel. Since she invited me first, it isn't fair to cut her out like that." Any normal guy would understand, right, because that's totally logical. You would understand if the situation were turned around, right? You would probably feel a little sorry that you invited yourself and put someone on the spot like that.
After you do this watch how he reacts. He will give you a guilt trip. He'll probably try to say negative things about your friend. He might get mad at you. He might even just show up at the movie anyways because he doesn't really care about your friendships. Remember, your friend asked you first and you have every right to go out with her.
Now, take his reaction when you break this "date" and multiply it by 100. That is how he will be once he gets his hooks in you. It is really easy to tell someone they are perfect and amazing, so don't fall for it. You know that nobody's perfect, and so does he, he's just trying to get you, and once he does, he will stop telling you how perfect you are and start pointing out all of your flaws. I promise you this will happen and if you don't cut him off now, you will remember this advice and wish you had listened. You have been forewarned.
]
More Questions: |