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Hmm, where to start. I am still pretty depressed but you are right in that it isn’t as bad as I thought I would be either; maybe because I’ve already been through the worst of it. The day after I found out the second time and she had told me it was over, I was pathetic. Crying and crying and crying. I haven’t cried yet since she dropped the “D” Word. I don’t really know if I will or not. Like I said I keep going back and forth. Earlier today I was at work thinking about everything, and anything I could do to get her back. But then on the drive home, I started thinking that I don’t want anything to do with someone that would actually do what she did to me. A weird thing happened just moments ago too. I was reading your response and the phone rang, it was her. She said, “I just wanted to wish you a happy father’s day.” I said thanks and that was it. But it was just the way she sounded over the phone, almost sad. Oh well maybe she was just trying to make me feel guilty because I had to work, and couldn’t see my daughter today. Another thing is I really don’t think I can be an asshole. It’s strange that you kinda seem to know me pretty well. We are a lot alike I think. I also love to fish. I can remember my dad waking me up at 4 in the morning to go out on Lake Michigan in our boat. We would stay out there all day and fish. It didn’t really matter what we caught, but if we were lucky we would catch trout or perch, and then we would take them home and pig out. Those are some of my greatest childhood memories. I haven’t fished that much lately though. My parents live on a farm and have a few ponds in the back, so every time I go home I like to try and go back there and have a few beers and throw a line in. I must say though that I am very sorry for what you are going through too. But I actually do like to talk and also like to give advice. I am actually thinking about becoming a psychiatrist or therapist or something of that nature after I get out of the military, and it’s about time you asked me for some advice. L.O.L What do I think? Well, first I can say that I do not judge you or think less of you. I think you are a spectacular woman, and it’s very unfortunate that you are married to a man that doesn’t seem to appreciate you. Now as for the other guy though, I think you are making a mistake with him. You said that he is married, and won’t leave his wife. So I take it then that is more a less a fling, and you two just really enjoy spending time together. Have you given him your heart? If so then you could end up really getting hurt and I wouldn’t want that. Another thing is what would happen if your husband found out? Would he be like me, or would he split? Also, are you trying to have a kid with the other guy? I ask only because you said you wanted kids and you couldn’t have any with your husband. I feel you on this one though, because I also want more kids. All in all, I think the affair is a mistake. Too many people can end up getting hurt, including you. I think you have 2 choices, and they are basically the same that I gave my wife. Either give your marriage everything you’ve got or get out. Now before you say anything I know that you already have given your marriage everything you’ve got, but your husband refuses to cooperate, which is why I do not blame you one bit for the affair. I do think that you had that right. Yes it is still morally wrong, but your case was different than mine in that I never seen it coming. I didn’t even know we were having problems. You gave your husband every chance to make the effort the fix the marriage. You seem to want the same things that I do, which is a loving happy marriage. Well are you going to get that with either man? If the answer is no, then you should continue your search for the “Mr. Right” you were talking about. I know that the other guy is great because of how he treats you, but is it permanent? My point is this. You want your husband to be more like the other guy. You love your husband and don’t want to leave him. You want your husband to be the one that shows you all the love and affection, much like I wanted and needed this from my wife, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Everyone wants and deserves that. But is your husband ever going to change? Are you going to be miserable for the rest of your life staying with him wishing he would change? If you don’t think he will ever change and you are going to continue to be unhappy, then I think you should make yourself happy, and find someone that will be yours and only yours and give you all the things that you need. He does exist. I am sitting her telling you this, and it’s crazy because I should be taking my own advice. L.O.L Well that’s what I think. Did I do ok?
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