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hmm wat to do!
so there is this guy i have been seeing every once in a while since i was 16 and he was 19.i am now 19 and he is now 22. we were "boning buddies" more than anything but only because i always ended up being in a relationship with someone else. well three weeks ago me and my boyfriend of two years broke up and my "boning buddy" broke up with his girl of 8 months.. so we are actually both single now. we had sex the first time we saw each other after our break ups but after that we have just hung out no sex. mostly because i havent really let it happen and im kind of testing him. i have always liked him and now i have realized i wish i would have given him a chance long ago. he has not necessarily told me he likes me and im a little confused. he texts me almost everyday wanting me to go to his hockey game or play beer pong with him or whatever. i take him wanting me to go to his hockey game as a sign that he isnt just into getting in my pants. i kind of slipped and told him i didnt want a relationship because i have always been in one and maybe thats why he hasnt told me he likes me> it usually takes me a while to really open up to guys and act all mushy over them i usually expect them to act that way towards me first.. but he is just like me. should i open up a conversation and ask him what he thinks about me> im not sure what to do all i know is i dont want to be just his f*** buddy but i dont want a relationship either. i have ALWAYS been in one and i enjoy not having to commit. am i asking for too much and whats the best thing i should do about this whole situation
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Ouch.
The good news is, it sounds like he's interested in more than sex. The bad news is, that turning a friends with benefits situation into a relationship is hard. Worse, you're anti relationships and need time.
Its time to level with him. You've been dancing around this and sleeping together for like three years? Definitely time to air some things in the open.
Don't have sex with him again. Not right now. You want more than a relationship, so its time to stop settling for less. If you send any other message, you're just going to make the entire process harder on both of you.
Rather than give you "you should do this" advice, I'm just going to put myself in your shoes and illustrate what I'd do. Sexes switched cause I'm a guy and it just flows better for me that way.
Were I in your shoes, I'd arrange a dinner and tell her alot of what you've told me thusfar. I'd tell her that I love the sex but that I want more than that, that I think I want to invest more than just meeting up, fucking, and hanging out in her. I'd tell her that given that I just got out of the relationship I want to be single, and that I just need some time to be ready.
I'd also tell her that the sex was stopping, I'd tell her it was always fun, but I want more than sex and I'm not going to settle for less. I personally would be more than willing to hang out without the sex, and when I was OK and wanted to be in a relationship again I'd make it very clear and ask her out.
Thats how I'd handle your situation. I'd masturbate the days away rather than sleep with someone I want to do more with, and I wouldn't go out and sleep with anyone else to satisfy the itch if theres someone specific I wanted.
Those are my choices, they might well not be at all what you want or need, but given the circumstances its the best I've got =/
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