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I can't believe this happen to me!!
Hey! well im only 18 and im having a fling with my friends brother who is now 22 and we are having a problem communicating i don't know sometimes what to say because his older than me and i want something special out of this because this the first time i went out with a guy older than me so im taking it slow but i kind of lack with the communication because i don't just want to kiss & thats it so what can i do to make him more into me and to make him feel like im there and listening and i also would like for him to open up to me but don't know how SERIOUSLY!! So back to the family his family likes me but im not so sure about his dad his dad don't know much about us but i can sense that he doesn't like me so that kinds of push me more away from him and don't need more of that plus i have another big problem 2 months ago i had sex but without protection i know i was stupid but i was kind of emotional so i got carried away and this was before i met him so this guy i had sex without protection i realized i didn't get my period for 2 months going for 3 and still nothing and strange thing my breast haven developed and doesn't feel like i am pregnant but if i am i don't know what im going to do i mean this means im going to lose all the people i love and this guy i just started something with and i was hoping for something special but this can ruin it all and worst of all his mad at me at the moment but not for replying to his messages but i feel like his not that into me as he say he is so this makes everything more confusing and my parents will freak if they hear it's him because his in college and im in school which really sucks!! well i can't understand the pregnant part but i hope im not because thats making me push my family and friends away and i don't want that at all and also it's leading me to heavy depression so im hating my life and feel so unhappy and all i want is happiness so please try and help i need it so bad!!!
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I think the first thing you need to do is take a step back and breath. The thing about being human is that when a problem hits us we tend to just get wrapped up in it. Forcing us to try and see clearly through a whirl of emotions.
And that just doesn't work.
So the first thing you need to do is take step back and look at this objectively as an outsider. I know you're thinking that's impossible because it's happening to you. But it's that kind of thinking that's sending you into a depression.
So now let's look at this from the outside (I'm going to help you here). First let's address the pregnancy. Going on three months is stretching it thin. But at the time you have been under A LOT of stress lately (bordering depression) and that is proven to stop a woman's menstrual cycle.
So the first thing you need to do is get a pregnancy test. Make sure you get a pack that has at least two. Take them both. That way you can erase all suspicion and fear from your mind.
Don't even stress about the consciences before you have the results. If you do end up pregnant, just message me again. And THEN we'll worry about what you should do about that.
As for the boy, I really think that the main problem is a simple one. YOU'RE STRESSING YOURSELF OUT! If a guy says he wants you, then you have two choices...
1. You can become the insecure g/f who drives the guy away by spending all your time worrying about losing him. (refer to good luck chuck)
or
2. You can take a chance that love just might do you right, and you can trust him.
I know it's hard to just trust somebody, but that's what a relationship is. If you don't trust him to be honest with you, then what are you doing with this guy? If you don't let your insecurity go you'll scare him away. Because when you let insecurity get into your relationship, he's going to start seeing that age difference. Guys want a girl who's confident, and there's one reason for that. They don't want to fight to prove they want to be with you. They just want you to have faith in them, in their word and nobility. Not all guys are jerks, some of them just like to take it slow emotionally. Because that's what love is, a building up of trust.
So you want to learn to communicate with him? Here's what you do, next time your with him, don't nag once unless it's ABSOLUTELY CLEAR that it's a joke. Just play and have fun, for one whole date. Don't worry or stress-it's a date not a midterm.
You do that and you'll start to see the communication that's missing right now.
The reason I think he's not communicating with you openly is because he's sensing your unease with the situation, you have to realize your feelings have a huge affect on the people around you. So if you just take it easy, and relax, he'll unwind with you, and start opening up himself. So just give it time.
I really hope it helps, and I hope that you are able to realize that you are a great girl who deserves this guy, and deserves a happy life. So be happy, and don't worry about problems you don't have yet. That just leads to premature aging!
P.S. Don't worry about the dad, he might just be a little like your boyfriend. It might take him a while to let people in. Just be nice and don't try to make him like you. Be yourself and let him come to you.
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