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So sick of it
out of all my friends, i'm the one they go to when they are having a hard time with something or need someone to be there for them. I love doing this.....its one of the things I'm good at.One of my closest friends...we have been friends since sixth grade, and now we are in 10th...she is starting to irritate me...the only time she ever wants to talk is when she has problems....never asking how i'm doing or wanting to hear about my love stories too....my other friends come for help and stuff, but at least they ask how i'm doing and how everything is going you know....am i weird? I don't know..what do you guys think about this? a part of me wants to confront her about it....but you know....i want to make sure that its the right decision...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know exactly how you feel. Back several years ago, I was pretty much known as the "advice guy" in my group of friends. Over time, I'd meet new people, and they would also begin to see me as the advice person. Some of those people didn't really care about me, they just wanted attention.
I'd say that there are two possibilities to this:
(1) She's just looking for attention. Maybe her friends and family haven't been pulling through like they used to, and your friend just wants to have compliments galore. Anything to help boost her ego may be all she cares about. If you think this might be the case, you should definitely confront her about it. Just ask why all you ever talk about is advice-related stuff. If she gets offender, she's probably not too good of a friend after all.
(2) She's looking for something to talk about, and knows you're good with talking about advice. If this is the case, she's probably innocent.
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It's not weird at all that this bothers you. You're feeling used because the only time she talks to you is when you need something. Before you confront her, ask yourself a couple questions:
Do you try to tell her when you're having a problem without her asking?
Does she just ask you what she should do, get an answer, then go back to not talking to you?
If you answer yes to these, then you should probably confront her. If you're making an attempt to let her in your life and she's just not putting forth any effort, it's a major problem.
When you confront her, try not to put blame on her 100%. Don't say things like, 'The only time you talk to me is when you need something and you never even ask how I'm feeling.' She won't like being approached like that. She would just immediately be offended.
The next time she comes to you and asks you for help or vents to you, just bring it up in a roundabout way. Say something like, 'Ya know, this is the first time you've talked to me in a while. Why don't we talk more often?' That will open up the conversation and let her know that it's something that's been bothering you without throwing blame at her.
Darby(:
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