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I feel alone.
My boyfriend and I [of almost a year] broke up about nine months ago. Recently, he showed up and asked for another chance. He was truly my first love, so of course, I gave him another chance. We weren't taking things slow physically, but mentally, I refused to get attached to him, because I knew how easily he can change his mind.
Long story short, he's been with another girl this whole time (I knew this), and when I told him that he couldn't have both of us and that he had to choose- he chose her. I was mad about this, but I had been waiting for it to happen again since he showed up a month or two ago, so I'm alright.
My problem is that: I'm homeschooled. I only started homeschooling a year or so ago, so I have plenty of female friends that go to every high school in town, but I don't have many guy friends anymore. Most of the guys I knew in school were more like acquaintences, so we haven't kept up... either that, or they liked me and I wasn't interested in them, so they stopped talking to me.
Summer's coming up, and I don't want to be alone for it. Next year I'm going to be a senior in high school, so I know it's going to be tough doing everything alone. I want to be more of a people person, and I want new boys to like me, and want to hang out.
I'm always too nervous/weirded out by talking to people that live in my own city, online, and I feel like they're creeped out by talking back to me.
=/ Any ideas, please?
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Being alone is always a hard thing to deal with. The best thing about the feeling of being alone is that realistically you really aren't. The great thing about being alone is figuring more and more about yourself. Senior year is coming up, and colleges are a big deal Senior year so in that sense you won't have to worry about the hole big "what's going to happen between me and my boyfriend" deal, with whatever choice you choose in the future. But also Prom and Graduation parties can be tuff when you don't have anyone special to share it with.
Being nervous and weirded out by talking to people is something easily curable. The Cure is trying to learn how to be yourself with people. If they can't accept you for who you are, then forget them. But you do have female friends, so you know you're not a weird person. Online, is not exactly the best place to make new friends, because people are overly cautious for obvious reasons. Community events, parties and school clubs are the best way to meet new people. Tell your girl friends you'd like to meet some guys, bring up conversations that include things you know, hobbies and things you have in common. The great thing about meeting new people is figuring out more and more things about you. So just think of it as, you're not trying to get them to know you, you're trying to get to know yourself.
But remember you could be in a crowd full of people and still feel like a social outcast. The situation is simply mind over matter. But I think you'll be fine! Remember being yourself is really what matters most and knowing that sometimes when you're alone you can actually have the most fun ;).
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