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Honestly, the way I feel right now, I will wait forever. I am sure after a long time, if there hasn't been any change, I might feel differently. But for me failure is not an option. I love her with all my heart and can't picture my life without her. I am pretty sure she used to feel this way, but I'm not sure right now. We have talked about family counseling, and both agree that we should go, but we haven't yet. Its weird, we got married pretty young, and in retrospect it was crazy. If my daughter did what we did, I would lock her in a room and make her come to her senses. Now I understand why our parents were so hesitant to support us at first. But after we got married something amazing happened. We found out we were perfect for each other. I have tried to do everything right cause we both grew up in broken homes. I wanted to prove there was a such thing as a perfect marriage. And it's a wake up call. I guess no matter who you are, you are going to encounter some rough obstacles. I don't believe we are soul mates, cause I don't believe in that kinda thing, but I am sure I don't want to be with anyone else. I've hope she feels the same way but she can't express her emotions right now. I know it was different for you cause your hubby didn't know, but what did you go through when you decided to stick it out and make your marriage work. What could my wife be feeling that is making her so distant to me. Guilt? I think maybe she thinks I look at her differently, but I'm not judging her and I still love her the same if not even more now. You right about the whole "Don't know what you've got till its gone" thing. I always thought if my wife cheated, I'm gone. No questions. But when I found out, the only emotion I can recall was being scared to lose her. Wierd huh?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
When I was going through my situation, I felt neglected by husband, I felt lonely and unloved. I am the type of person who loves to do things with my family. I am not the type of person who goes out with friends and party. The only friend I have is my husband and son. So you would understand why I felt so lonely when I would ask him to go out or do something together as a family and he would always say you and my son go and he would always refuse to go. I became tired of this. I prayed and prayed and I even asked God, I said Lord, if this relationship was not meant to be show me some sign or take this man out of my life. I was that frustrated. I longed for my husband to say to me that he loved me or that he thought I was beautiful, or just something nice to make me feel like I was special to him. I wanted him to hold me when I was stressed and tell me everything would be ok. I wanted him to be there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, but he wasn't there. This other guy was there, he told me what I needed to hear, he was there when I needed that shoulder to cry on, he was there everytime I needed him, he would call me at work to find out if I needed lunch, he did all the things my husband was not doing. This is why I think I fell in love with him. The thing that made me stop the affair was the fact that this guy was married with children. And he really does love his wife, although he was cheating he made that perfectly clear. I knew he had feelings for me, but also knew that our relationship would go nowhere. But to be honest with you, had he not been married, I would have lfet my husband for him. My husband and I this year will make 9 years of marriage, I am 29 and he is 33. I still consider myself young and I still like to have fun, even if it is only going outside in the back yard and chillin, as long as it with my family I am happy. But my husband for some reason could not understand what it was that I wanted even after me telling him about a thousand times. Women want to feel loved and appreciated. We want to feel like our men don't see any other woman on earth but us. We want to be treated like the queen that we are. If a man treats his wife like a queen, I am sure that she will return the favor. For me, I would not even look at another man. Right now your wife may havig these same feelings, but at the same time, like I said to you before, she may be feeling a little guilt and resentment because of what she has done. She may also be feeling like you do not love her the same way you use to because of her affair, and she does not know what is going on in your head. Although you may be telling her that you forgive her she doesn't really believe that and therefore will be a little distant from you. But women, even though we may not say it, we prefer for a man to show us that he loves us rather than tell us, but that doesn't mean that we don't want to hear it sometimes. You said that you and your wife have both agreed to go to counselling that is good. However, if she doesn't feel comfortable going with you right now, then maybe you should recommend that she go alone for now and get things off of her chest and then the both of you can go together. She may have things on her mind that she is not ready to confess to you at this time. But just be patient with her and don't force her to talk about the affair if she is not ready. Allow her to come to you and tell you on her own. I think if you push her too much you will end up loosing her.
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