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Why does suicide have to ruin everything?
My best friend Lyndsey committed suicide back in Novemeber, and it still feels as though it was just yesterday I was hanging out with her laughing and smiling. I can't get over it. Every day the memory that she's gone hurts the same, it never gets any less. She kept me going when I wanted to give up, and then she gave up.. I want to follow her too but I can't put my family thro that. But I need her. I've tried everything to ease the pain of her death, but nothing seems to work. I feel as though I lost my soulmate.. I was truly in love with her. If she hadn't been with someone at the time, we would've been together. And that's alot to say because I am straight.. but with her it was totally different. I don't know what I can do to stop the pain from coming upon me full force every single day. Anyone have any ideas? Please let me know! Thanks
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How you hanging in, hun? I know exactly how you feel, and i also understand that pain is hard to be delt with. To be honest i have been threw this many times, i had a friend that commited suicide while i was with him. We where having fun laughing, smiling, and being just normal teens. He gave me hug said he loved me and that he had to go to the bathroom, i said ok. Then i heard a big BOOM, and i walked in and he was lying on the floor dead;.He shot himself. I was and am still emotionaly scarred. I want to tell you the pain goes away fast, but to be honest i have to say it doesn't. The pain will ease in time, i know your hurt, and probably really confused. But it was her un happyness. Im sorry that this has happened, But i promise it will all get easier in time. If you need to talk email me. k? roziesinlove@hotmail.com or text me. 1-801-7924798
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First of all, I'm very sorry about your friend.
Suicide is an extremely hard thing to deal with. Probably the hardest, because the person took their own life. It just happened 6 months ago. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to get over it so quickly. If you try to move on without really dealing with the emotions, they're only going to come up later and it will be much harder then.
You need to reassure yourself that it's not your fault. There's nothing more you could have done. The next step would be to seek therapy. I don't know if you have done this yet, but therapists are great to talk to about something like this. They know the way the mind works and what can be done to get over the loss of a loved one.
Give yourself time to be upset about it. It's completely reasonable to still be sad. But you need to seek counseling, especially if you're to the point that you want to give up. I know you say that you won't because of your family (which is great), but you need to learn how to live for yourself too. Lyndsey would want you to be happy. Therapy is the only way to get your emotions fully out and learn the steps to stop the pain.
Hope this helps,
Darby
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