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Mood swings
I get some really intense mood swings sometimes and they've become more frequent lately. One minute I'll be really happy and the next I'll just be seriously annoyed or depressed. I've noticed that most of it happens when I'm at home and I don't really understand it. I mean sure I get into fights with my parents every now and then but lately I've been fighting with my mom about the smallest things and everyday! I could have had the best day at school but it's usually ruined within an hour of my coming home. I don't understand why I've been getting so annoyed with my parents lately. I mean maybe it's just because I'm a teenager and it's that phase the I'm going through but I'm not sure.
And also, there are times when I'm perfectly fine and I start thinking about some stuff and I just get really depressed. I just get a sinking feeling inside me where I just have to cry and I don't know where it comes from! I have a serious problem with pain, I'm pretty much a baby, and I hate seeing blood and I never understood why some people cut themselves but this one time a few weeks ago I just couldn't help it. I just had the urge to do it and I did. Like I said I'm kind of a baby so I didn't cut very deeply and it was only a couple of times but it kinda makes me worried. I don't know whats wrong with me and it's starting to scare me! I don't really know who to talk to about it because I just know my parents won't understand and my friends are great but I really don't think this is just something they'll really be able to help me on. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Well I have a really good friend who reminds me alot of what you just described. If by chance you are anything like her, than this is what I think: The whole parents thing, maybe you just have a hard time taking in their opinions or reasons because you've convinced yourself so much that yours are the only right ones. And that it annoys you to have to stop and listen to them talk when it isnt "important". As for the thinking about stuff and then getting depressed, I think that happens to most people. You just need to find a more constructive way of pulling yourself out of it, like music or art, or something your passionate about. Then about not being able to talk to friends, maybe you have one good friend who could understand where you are coming from, if not completely than maybe more than some of the others. Its always good to talk to friends. Again I dont know you so this is just my attempt at figuring it out. Also, I really doubt the bi polar thing, I think its just life. So idk if that helped you at all, but I hope it gives you something to go off of. :)
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I have the same problem.
And you're probably expecting something like 'you have bipolar disorder,' but because I am dealing with it, too, I'd doubt it's that.
But don't totally outrule bipolar disorder as a possible culprit, because I haven't had a formal evaluation myself, so we may both have it.
Who knows?
I think the trick is to catch the bad mood before it comes on.
Yesterday, I felt myself starting to sink. And for me, also, it's only at home.
Anyway, yesterday, I didn't allow myself to totally sink down into it. I'm assuming you can tell when it is first starting to come on...for me, it's kind of a grinding feeling in my head. So when I felt that, I thought of something funny that happened to me earlier at school...and I just kept replaying it. Then, I felt better.
Beware, though. Once I thought everything was clear, I forgot about monitoring further. A few hours later, I sunk into the slump and became very emotional. The difference about this slump is the fact that while I was crying and upset, I analyzed the situation.
I asked myself:
Do I have reason to be upset?
The answer was yes, but I didn't stay down.
Usually, though, the answer is 'no.' Then I think further to the point that the fact that there's nothing to be upset about, is something to be happy about.
Then I asked myself:
Do I have any control over whats upsetting me?
The answer was no. Generally, I would dwell on the fact that I have no control and be upset about that, too. But no, yesterday I decided that I wasn't going to be upset. I analyzed the situation down to a plan of how I will breathe in that situation. This means that everything else doesn't matter. If I'm breathing, then I'm okay.
Also, you mentioned that you 'start thinking about some stuff and you just get really depressed'. You've hit the nail on the head. Don't think about the things that make you depressed because, I know, if it was something that you could change, then you wouldn't, or shouldn't, be depressed about it because it's changeable.
If it's something you don't have control of, and it upsets you, then don't waste a minute of your time thinking about it. When you look at the big picture, you only have so much time to laugh and smile and not be upset because on this earth, everyone has things to do and they need to work. So, if you spend your free time crying when you don't need to, you're wasting your leisure time.
Also, I'll tell you that once I'm down, the only way to come back up is to do something similar to meditating.
What I do is think of some quote or a prayer or something. For example, the 'Our Father.'
I will say it very slowly with long pauses between each word, and don't focus on the words..focus on the spaces in between the words in which your brain will not be occupied with anything but the next word of the quote/prayer.
I say it like this:
Our...(5 seconds of silence & peace)...father...(5 seconds of silence & peace)...who...(5 seconds of silence & peace) etc.
It's very calming.
Good luck.
I'm in the same boat as you.
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Your friends would understand if you talked to them about it. Just talk to a couple of your closest friends. Ask them if they've ever felt like that. I think any teenager, or anyone who has been a teenager, would be able to relate. Most people get frustrated with their parents often when they're in their teen years.
Your mood swings are likely caused partially by hormones. The next time you and your parents start to get into a fight, think about whether or not it's really worth it. You said you and your mother have been getting into fights about really small things everyday. Next time, really stop and ask yourself, is this worth getting everyone upset over? Should I just do whatever she's asking and move on? If it's something really small, you might as well comply in whatever way you can.
You also need to retrain your thought processes. You've gotten to the point now where you see home as being a bad place. You say that you have a great day at school but within an hour of getting home, your day is ruined. If you think that, your day is going to start getting "ruined" the second you leave school. Don't convince yourself that your day is going to be bad just because you're going home. This is likely adding to your frustration and all the small fights you're getting into with your mother.
Also, cutting isn't the answer. I can tell by what you said that you're smart enough to know that cutting isn't going to help. It won't make any problems go away. It will actually only further any frustration or sadness you have in you. If you start cutting now, you'll be sitting on your bed three years from now, in the exact same position you are now. Except your arms will be covered in scars.
There are other ways to deal with things. Try talking to your friends. You also need to talk to your mother. Say, "I don't know why we've been fighting so much lately about such small things. I don't want to fight you on everything. It's really starting to get to me."
Your mother probably thinks that you're just being a bratty teenager and that you actually WANT to fight about everything. Once she hears that you don't like this and what is happening because of it, she'll likely ease up. It will also make your relationship stronger. Start going to her for advice about things. She was once a teenager too, and by going to her for advice, she'll feel as though you want her help. This will make you guys closer and less likely to fight also.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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