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Grandparent-less in Ohio
Hi
I am a 34 year old married mother of 2. I need your advise. My parents & I are not speaking & have not for 5 months. Plans had been made ahead of time for them to come to our home for a 2-3 day visit at the holidays. We spoke the night before they were to leave & everything was fine. The following morning I called & was coldly told they decided not to come. They live 7 hours away & we only see them 3 or 4 times a year. Our kids (9 & 5 yrs old) were very excited to see them. My husband & I had to tell them upon picking them up from school that day. They were absolutely heartbroken. This ruined the entire Holiday. It was a very emotional & teary few days.
I was raised in a military family with no roots to speak of & and only child. My parents have always put others first before me- such as addictions, friends, careers, family, the needs of everyone else, you name it. They are young, mid 50’s. I permanently left home at 13 due to these same issues & grew up very fast.
Upon becoming a parent, I opened my eyes to the fact that my parents are just selfish & self-absorbed in their own world. I am an adult now & can deal with this. I would rather be a good parent than a good daughter. However- these are their only 2 grandchildren they will ever have. I cannot tolerate them doing the same to my children- they are not old enough to understand these behaviors. All I want is for them to apologize (especially to the kids) & admit that they were in the wrong. However- my father’s military background does not allow for him to ever admit that he is in the wrong. This seems to be more important to him than getting past this issue. What are your thoughts?
Grand-parentless in Ohio
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i think this is extremely unfair and your parents are being stubborn and just plain mean. it's sad that they can't take 3 days out of their life to come visit their own daughter and grandchildren. regardless that you ran away, i think THEY should be more mature and get over the past. its done.
this is a little crazy, but maybe go visit them.. if you want to put in all that time and money. if you truly want your grandchildren to know their grandparents, this could be worth the while. or, you could get their and they ignore you and the kids, but if they did that, i would walk out forever. that's horrible. i dont care if your dad was freakin george washington in the military. but that would mean calling them and letting them know your making the trip out for your kids, because you want whats best for them.
you DO NOT put ANYTHING before your own children. EVER.
i hope this helped.
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