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I kinda cheated on my boyfriend.
You have answered my question, but I still need more advice. I did tell him the whole truth, and I have my little brother talking to him. But he keeps saying that he wants nothing to do with me. But I can't help it. I need and want him. Friends have said to wait. Wait for him to let it sink in and realize that it was just a mistake and that he will take me back because he loves me but I don't want to get fooled or I don't want to get my hopes up. I do love him. And just to make it clear I am a 21 year old, I've been in and out of relationships and I know for a fact that I am crazy in love with him. Help me please.
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I think that he's still angry for what he thinks is a violation of trust...and it's like the kind of anger that's matched with shock. He probably felt the deep love that you're expressing for him before he saw that text. I think that your friends may be right about waiting, but if you wait too long, he's going to forget details about what he's forgiving you for, then when you tell him, it will rehash the feeling of "betrayal."
Once you've waited for a small amount of time, you might want to talk to him. Your little brother might appear to him as someone you asked to defend you to him....this may make it look like it was something more. Maybe if there's some kind of a mutual friend that you & your boyfriend share that's equally trusted by both of you, that friend could help you make some headway in revealing the harmlessness of all this. Whenever you talk to him, (this should come from you), tell him that whatever it is that makes him think you're really cheating on him is nothing to worry about because you're not his ex-girlfriend(s), one of which probably cheated on him somewhere along the line...causing him to be very close-minded to your story, in fear of being hurt again.
If you express your concern as clearly as you can, at as many opportunities as possible, you should be able to get through to him.
But, of course, you know this guy better than I do because I don't even know who he is. If he's withdrawn & sensitive & seems hurt about this, tell him that you're not out to hurt him & all the text business was whatever...If he's more insecure & loud, & seems angry, then apologize. If he conveys an expression of hurt & anger, try both.
I'm sure you already have tried both, but persistence brings results...just not too in his face, because then he'll feel smothered. Also, if you seem too overbearing in your attempts to convince him, it will seem like you're just trying to get this behind you as quickly as possible, as if there's something to hide.
Patience & persistence.
In the meantime, you might be able to text him hello or something...but he needs to rationalize it out because he thinks it's something big apparently.
Rather than use statements, when talking to him, that fault him, use statements that express your confusion...even though you may not be confused.
example:
NOT "You never told me I couldn't text guys, so how should I have known?" or "You never told me you'd overreact like this....you never were this easily hurt before."
BUT "I'm sorry, I didn't know texting this guy out of town would cause so many problems...Had I known, I wouldn't have done it. I won't do it again, if it bothers you, because I care."
Just word choice is important, yeah.
Good luck.
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