|
Though hell and back!
Omg okay! Me and my boyfriend has been off and on for almost two years. .We've broken up and started to see other people! During that time i had sex with this guy whom i had no feelings for but he made me feel wanted at the time soo anyways i was drunk and when i made him stop(like seriously a minute after we started) the condom broke! I tried to be responsible and get the plan B pill and get checked and they said everything was okay! Later me and my boyfriend got back other and i wanted to tell him bout that night so bad but i was so scared of losing him cause i always seem to mess stuff up or do things that could cause me to leave him! I recently went to the doctor to get on birth control and they took all types of test. Well on monday i received a call for them saying that i tested positive for chlamydia. .my heart dropped! I wasnt upset because i had it cause i mean i did the stupid stuff so i was willing to pay for it but i knew for a fact that my boyfriend had it too! I wrote him as soon as i found out and told him that we needed to talk face to face! He came over that night and we drove around as i tried to find out how to tell him. .finally it all came out after a hour or two and just as i suspected he was furious!! Before i told him i made him promise that he will stay over my house that night and he did! I took my pills for it before he came and i had his pill in the car for him! We had the most weird night ever! He hated me i know it but when we i start crying in the house he came over to me and hugged me sooo tight! That night was weird and so was that morning. .He got mad again and started yelling and crying then he decided he was going to stay with me and everything was good after that. .well i thought so! That same night it happened again. .the crying that is but we made up again! That morning it was like the stuff never happened he was happy. I was happy and we played around all day until we start talking about me going to college than that when it all blew up! He cried and i cried more than ever cause he couldnt help but to think about it! I told him that he should leave and find someone that makes him happy and all he could say was that im the only person. .that i all he got and want! After about an hour or two of crying and trying to find out if he was going to stay or leave he that he will stay and that he ment it! That he wanted us to have the family we always planned on and he know if he left that the tears wouldnt stop! Our tears dried and we laughed and played til i took him home but when we were leaving he seemed kind of mad idk if its because of what he was doing on the computer of if its cause he was thinking about it again! Long story huh. .Well my question is Is he going to leave me? Well the pain go away soon? Can we still be together and be happy after this or is our relationship just a timed bomb? PLEASE HELP! I CANT LOSE HIM!!
Thanks in advance!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well first he needs to see a doctor still.
You need to give him his space to sort this out in his head.
Chlamydia is curable so thats a good thing.
but if i were him i would be asking .. how did u get it.
]
This is a really difficult one. While maybe you should have known the guy who gave you an STD better (clearly!), but you used a condom, and he probably would have lied to you to get in your pants anyway, so it's just a case of tragic bad luck. These are the consequences of casual sex, people.
What you must understand is that your boyfriend has every right to be furious. There is no cure for chlamydia, and he'll be taking antibiotics forever. It's going to upset him and unnerve him for a long, long time. Only an incredibly strong relationship will survive this kind of emotional trauma.
If you are going off to college, that means you're still very young. It's not stupid to talk about having a family with someone you really love, but at the absolute earliest you're not going to be getting married for another five years. Your whole world is going to change in college. Some high school relationships DO last through college, but most do not, simply because you both will change in so many unexpected ways.
You absolutely must expect a rough road to recovery if this relationship is to survive. The whole STD thing is going to mean years of trust issues and tears and late night conversations. If you are truly meant for each other, the relationship will survive. But you're going to have to earn his trust back, and you're going to have to accept that you're going to have difficult problems in your relationship for a while. Don't pressure him, just let him work these things out. Reach out to him when he needs it, and back off when he wants to be alone.
The track record for this kind of relationship is not good, but it is possible the relationship may survive. If it doesn't, trust me, the pain will go away after a good long while, and college will help that pain go away - it's the greatest time of your life! If the relationship survives, it will have its own set of problems and pain. If you really love your boyfriend, you need to be incredibly patient and understanding for your relationship to continue on.
If you liked this advice please spread the word about AreaAdviceColumnist to your friends! If you want to follow up on this, continue the conversation by emailing me personally at AreaAdviceColumnist at gmail dot com
****I must admit I was thinking of herpes when I wrote this. There is technically a "cure" for chlamydia - and so I was wrong to say there is no cure and that the young man in question would be taking pills forever. HOWEVER it shouldn't be taken lightly. You can still transmit it well after you're done with your antibiotic treatment and long after your symptoms are dormant. Having chlamydia just once severely increases your chances of having pelvic inflammatory disease, and serious infections of the uterus and ovaries, and increased probability for ovarian and uterine cancer. The point is not to single any one out or embarass anyone, but, just that everyone should be smart like this particular young woman and GET TESTED. Chlamydia often has no symptoms and can be passed on and on and on from partner to partner.
]
More Questions: |