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Not what I wanted to hear!!
alright. I am 13 years old and I am a girl. I've liked this boy for awhile now, let's call him Dave and its up for debate but if I had to guess I would say he liked me too. One night Dave and I were talking and we got onto the subject of a boy who I really dislike. Lets call the boy I dislike Mark. Now I told dave "yeah I'm not a very big fan of Mark... Like at all..." and Dave asks "why do you say that?" so I decided to tell him how Mark treats me. I told dave about how Mark grinded on me against a locker and made these repulsive noises. I even told Dave how much this bothered me but instead of maybe agreeing with me by simply saying "Yeah that's rude" or even something along those lines he said something that really pissed me off. He said "mark is just trying to have some fun." I felt like screaming at him. Who is that fun for?? Its not fun at all!! I'm glad upsetting me is so entertaining to you boys but its disrespectful to me and not only was Dave not treating this situation like no big deal, he was acting like its okay that Mark does this! To make matters worse, after this Dave said "its late... I gotta go, see ya..." and he left. I am so confused!! Dave has always been such a gentleman and he's always respected me and stuck up for me, I really like him but I dont know what to do now! This doesn't even seem like him! I dont know if i should bring it up or what. I haven't talked to him since we had that arguement and its been four days!! Please help! Advice from boys would be helpful if you could!
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Go take your anger and scream at Mark, that's where is belongs.
The next time Mark crosses the line, let him have it, swiftly and without mercy. I don't mean hit him, I mean saying in a very loud voice "Mark, I don't like that! Stop it! It's disgusting and abusive and not funny."
Dave didn't do anything wrong. It's not his job to agree with you on everything or to stand up for you, it's YOUR job to stand up for yourself. So next time Mark pisses you off, do so.
If Dave is any otherwise good guy, then it was impolite of you to automatically assume he was on "Mark's side" and to go off on him like that. You would have been much better to explain yourself calmly to Dave and say "Dude, I don't think you are understanding how embaressing and uncomfortable it feels when a guy does that to me. It's not the least bit funny, it makes me feel like shit!"
Dave probably DOESN'T know it's a big deal. Dave has probably never had an experience like the one you describe with Mark. An experience like that might not even upset Dave the way it does you, and that is Okay. He is allowed to view this differently then you.
But YOU didn't explain your feelings to him very well, or in a way that would generate much understanding or respect from him. Dave probably felt that he was on the receiving end of a male-bashing rant when all he had done was not automatically agree with you, and frankly, he was right. You're reaction was extreme, a bit sexist and although you had every right to express yourself to Dave, you didn't have a right to go off the handle on him.
Apologize to Dave. Explain that Mark's behavior really upsets you and that is why your reaction was so extreme, but that it shouldn't have been directed at Dave, but at Mark. Then, the next time Mark pisses you off, let him know it! That way you wont have all this pent up emotion that might get dumped onto the wrong guy.
EDIT IN RESPONSE TO FEEDBACK:
Disappointed? Sure. You can be disappointed.
But you shouldn't be bitchy, or write him off because of this. You were right about it not being funny. You were wrong in ripping a shred off Dave, and frankly, based on the way you wrote this question, I would bet Dave feels like you ripped a shred off him, and you should probably apologize for that.
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