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ruined two relationships with one statement ( better way of explaining it)
i basically said this : "i asked alex if allen did something wrong would he tell ashley and he said no because allen doesnt tell his stuff to me so he wont tell his stuff to ashley" its not funny haha but i thought it was funny in a weird way like he was confessing to me that he did something and that i would have to ask his friend. but ashley saw it in a way that she thought i was saying that her husband was doing something wrong. and she freaked out and asked her husband saying i told her that he was cheating on her. she signed off of aim before i could explain what i meant about my statement. i told her allen was a good guy and that he didnt do anything wrong so she didnt believe me and i told her that he was a player before he met her and shes like continue and i go thats all i have to say. so she didnt believe and confronted her husband. am i totally the one to blame or is it partially her fault too? i tried to explain what happened to allen but he didnt want to hear it.
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Nope. That situation was only the tiniest bit your fault. And only your fault in the small way of 'You might have guessed that Ashley was a nut bar, and should have stepped a bit more carefully around her craziness so as not send her off the deep end.'
But that is really only the tiniest bit of blame there. It's mostly Ashley's fault. For her to take something that like that as 'He's CHEATING ON ME!!!!' is deeply insecure and foolish. Obviously she was waiting for SOMEONE, ANYONE to give her this kind of information. You just has the misfortune of stepping into her waiting bear trap.
Don't apologize to Allen, you didn't really do anything wrong. He's married to a nut bar and he probably knows it. When he is ready to talk about it tell him Ashley went nuts on you because you joked that about the guys being good friends and not telling thier women every little thing (which they are totally entitled to do!) you completely DID NOT say he was disloyal AT ALL.
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